Title: Temptation

Couple: Evan/Drew

Implements: none

Warnings: none

My ankle ached, my shoulder was throbbing, and my head was pounding and I wondered how in the hell I had gotten here. Here being the hospital.

It all started with a ride to a bike rally, and some kind of newly born deep desire to ride without my helmet. I don't really know where this desire came from. Maybe it was because I had grown up and lived my whole life in a state where helmets while riding motorcycles were mandatory, and the rally was in a state where there wasn't a helmet law.

I watched all those riders-or idiots who all deserve a giant “I” tattooed on their foreheads as far as Drew is concerned-blast by without their helmets. Drew had strong feelings about wearing a helmet, but since we lived in a state with a helmet law, the choice to go without was pretty much moot. I had to wear it or get a ticket. But here it was a choice.

I thought they just looked so unhindered as they rode with the wind blowing in their hair like some kind of free spirits without a care or concern. So like Eve in the garden I saw a tempting fruit, and latched on to the idea of having it and wouldn't let the idea go. Drew often says I am much like a dog and his bone, when I get an idea into my head and I refuse to give it up or at least until it lands me in trouble.

I kept pushing Drew that we should give going without a helmet a try. It would be fun, it would be cool to feel the wind blowing through our hair. To get that feeling of flying as we rode down the road. Drew's response was that if I wanted to feel the wind in my hair I should buy a convertible rather than risk my head-which I only have one of-by riding without a helmet.

I continued to argue and press my point, until finally Drew declared the argument closed. He said that riding without a helmet was dangerous, accidents were always possible and even the safest of drivers had to deal with the idiots out there and often paid the price. Helmet's were a non negotiable rule-if I wanted to ride I was to do it with a helmet on my head or not ride at all.

But like the dog with the bone, something inside just wanted to experience it-just to see what it would be like. So while Drew may have closed down any further discussion on the subject, my desire didn't stop with the closed door. I almost think it may have made my desire greater-wanting the forbidden fruit even more. So for the first few days of the rally I was able to tamp down the desire and enjoy my time with Drew and enjoying something we were both passionate about. Bikes. Our love of bikes were one of the things that drew us together when we first met. He rode a Harley and loved tinkering with them and I wished I rode a Harley and mostly just liked the freedom and joy of being on the back of a bike going full speed ahead.

We visited various tents in the rally area, buying t-shirts, hats, pins and other accessories for our bikes. I even splurged and bought a new pair of chaps, which Drew thought framed my ass rather nicely-I will take his word for it. We also got a kick out of some of the outfits people wore. There are all types at a rally, and some people dressed to stand out, others dressed for comfort and others just didn't have a clue.

Mostly the women had the outlandish outfits. One woman wore nothing but leather pants and a black mesh top-no bra, not even a pair of pasties-you could see everything, including the giant rolls of fat and the fact that her nipples pointed at her toes-I think my eyes are still bleeding from the sight. Some people must not own mirrors or something, and her friends must hate her if they encouraged her to leave the house like that. I can't imagine even the straightest of straight men would be attracted to that.

Drew and I considered getting a massage from the masseuse who wore nothing but pasties and blue jeans-although she actually wore hers well, which was probably part of the problem. The line was so long that we didn't want to wait, and I think for some of the men the massage was likely not the main reason for forking over the $30.

I saw some of the most interesting tattoos-some really good artwork, some leaving me hoping they hadn't actually paid for them they were so bad. And then there were the people who went overboard. A small discreet tat is one thing, but I am not a fan of the head to toe versions. I am also pretty sure shaving my head and getting a dragon tattooed on my scalp would not go over well with the school board, even if the artwork was exemplary.

I think I could probably write a book on all the fashion horrors and faux pas to be seen at a bike rally. I think full length mirrors should be posted at all entrances.

We mostly avoided eating at the rally site given the expense, but we couldn't pass up some of the traditional fair food-like fried dough and deep fried Twinkies. I am pretty sure my arteries cried out in anguish with some of my food choices, but it was rally week, and it isn't like I have a fry daddy and a box of Twinkies at home ready for regular use. The place was pretty crowded, and some of the booths pretty much seemed to have the same stuff so we could only spend so much time browsing the venders-after a while it all starts to look the same, but the real fun at a bike rally are the rides.

The scenery in New Hampshire where the rally took place was gorgeous with a lot of nice scenic roads to ride. The mountains were everywhere, and you could always see Mt. Washington reflected in the lake or in the sky line. It was always there towering over the area; big, blue and majestic. The highlight of all our rides was the annual Ride to the Sky where they only allowed bikes to ride up the Mt. Washington auto road.

I have been on a lot of rides over the years, but that one was amazing. It started off dark and very cave like, with the road surrounded by large trees. But gradually as we rode up the mountain the trees broke up and you could see some of the most gorgeous scenery ever. And eventually the narrow road got even more narrow, with steep drops and clear views off the sides. I think it was eventually some of those rides that led to my downfall. In addition to the awe inspiring view it was also nerve racking-one small mistake and bye-bye world. But in the back of my head, I was wondering just what it would have felt like without my helmet, would it have looked different? Would it have felt different? And in the end part of my mistake was bringing up a subject that Drew had declared “dropped” after we returned that night after dinner.

“You know Drew I bet that ride would have been 10 times sweeter, if we had done it without our helmets.”

“Yeah, and I am sure it would have felt ten times more painful, if you had laid your bike down and hit your head, of course that assumes you didn't hit hard enough to be dead,” he said in a do we really have to do this again? tone of voice.

“But what are the chances of that happening? There were probably thousands of bikes on that road with us today, and none of them had an accident. For once we are in a state where we don't have to wear a helmet, why don't we try it just once? It's not like we'll get a ticket or anything.” I folded my arms over my chest. “People ride all the time without helmets and they don't wreck and they don't die.” I opened my mouth to continue my argument, but was quickly silenced by Drew.

“Evan, I am going to tell you this just one more time. Just because you can do something it doesn't mean you should do it. And I really don't care that the state of New Hampshire doesn't require them. As far as I am concerned helmets are mandatory for our family whether the government says they are or aren't.” His tone was sharp and I could tell I was pushing the limits with him, but I wanted to give it one more shot.

“But . . .” I quickly closed my mouth when I saw the look on his face which told me without any words that I had come to the boundary line and it was in my best interest to stop talking.

He reached over and gently grabbed my chin forcing me to look in his eyes as he spoke to me in his we are done voice.

“Bikes are dangerous, they are fun, but they aren't toys. Helmets protect your head. Your head,” and he tapped my forehead gently before finishing the sentence “is very important to me. Helmets are a have to as far as I am concerned, when it comes to bike riding and safety.” He stopped and took a breath. He dropped his hand in order to reach down for mine and gently pull me closer as he continued.

“I would be devastated if you were in an accident and something happened to you, so wearing a helmet is not negotiable. And it isn't like I am asking you to follow an arbitrary rule that I am not following myself. I promise you I won't get on a bike without my helmet on, and I expect the same from you. So let me be clear here. If you ride without your helmet, I will spank you, and if you bring this topic up again I will spank you. Understood?” His deep blue eyes pierced mine and I nodded and muttered a very meek “Yes.”

“Good,” he said and leaned in to give me a deep kiss, his tongue thrusting deep into my mouth and I leaned closer into his body wanting more contact. Bikes, helmets, pretty much everything flew out of my head, as we began to shed each others clothes. My thoughts at that moment were on nothing but him, and our bodies and pleasing each other. It always sucked to have an argument with Drew, but the make-up sex was always fun and this time was no different.

I guess Drew was worn out from the days travels, because he fell asleep almost as soon as we both reached orgasm and lay cuddle together on the bed. He was gently snoring at 7:30 in the evening-I was lying in bed curled up against him but wide awake. I carefully slipped out from under his arm that had been thrown over me in his sleep. I quickly and quietly put my clothing back into place, slipped on my boots, and went out onto the porch of our cabin and looked out over the lake. There were people out and about; sitting on their cabin porches, walking down by the lake and there were still several boats out enjoying the last few rays of light before nightfall. The sun hadn't set yet, but it was going down, and the colors in the sky were all red, purple and orange and reflections of the light of the sunset and the mountains on the lake were very peaceful, but it didn't bring me peace. I was too busy brooding.

I don't know why I was chaffing so much at this rule. It wasn't like Drew's arguments were worthless or didn't make sense, but for some reason I didn't want to follow the rule, I wanted to experience this little piece of excitement and I resented the fact that Drew was keeping me from it.

I was feeling sorry for myself, and the more I thought about how unfair it all was, the more determined and stubborn on the issue I became. Drew often says brooding is bad for me, and he generally distracts me or tries to refocus me on something else, when he sees it. A walk, a ride, or sometimes a challenge to play against him in a video game of some sort. And then there was always sex. But Drew was sleeping, and for some reason I decided not to wake him.

At some point I decided that I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and damn the torpedos I was going to do it. Probably not the wisest decision, but I think at that moment I was so focused on what I wanted that I just didn't care about the consequences-either the threat of punishment or how it would affect Drew. To be honest at that moment I think I was being selfish, I just didn't see it at the time.

I slipped back into the cabin, glanced guiltily over at Drew and grabbed my jacket. Then I quietly walked to the door and closed it firmly behind me. Once outside I strode over to my bike, got on and started it up then headed up the winding path from our lakeside cabin towards the main road.

I am embarrassed to admit I didn't really get very far. As I hit the end of the drive and leaned to my right to turn the bike onto the road, I felt the bike lose its grip on the road in a patch of gravel. The whole thing probably happened pretty fast, a few seconds at most, but it felt like it was much longer and almost in slow motion.

As I flew off the bike I think I may have yelled an expletive or two, but I am not sure if it was in my head or actually out loud. I also remember thinking I should have used the back brake rather than the front brake when the bike started go down, but I was already flying through the air when I thought it, so I couldn't do a damn thing about it at that point. I definitely remember landing on my shoulder and feeling an excruciating pain just before hitting my head on something with a loud crack then everything went dark.

Through the haze of pain when I came to, I remember looking into Drew's eyes-and wondering how he knew to come, since he had been asleep when I left the cabin. Even more I remember not quite being able to read the look in his tear filled eyes as he knelt beside me. It was somewhere between terror and concern. And God did I feel guilty for putting that look there. I really don't remember much at that point. Drew was talking calmly to me and telling me to be still and offering words of comfort, but I couldn't tell you now exactly what he said.

I think he was holding something on my head to keep the bleeding to a minimum but I am not certain. And as slow as the actual accident seemed to be, everything after seemed to move in fast forward. I sort of remember Drew talking with the paramedics and I definitely remember thinking the noise and flashing lights were making my head hurt worse and wanting it to stop. I was dizzy and out of it, but not so out of it I didn't feel the pain in my body or the terror of wondering how badly I was injured.

And that is how I ended up in the hospital getting my head examined-in addition to having my dislocated shoulder relocated, my sprained ankle wrapped and 8 stitches put in my head. The doctors had diagnosed me with a concussion and kept me over night for observation, because they weren't sure just how severe the concussion was and were concerned it might get worse.

While in the ER, throughout all the testing, and the long wait for diagnosis, prognosis and treatment Drew didn't say much. He mostly sat quietly by my bed, holding my hand and trying to keep me comfortable and calm. God he was so wonderful. I could tell he was scared and worried, but he stayed calm in order to keep me calm. Every time I tried to bring up my own stupidity he told me to stop worrying, that now wasn't the time to talk about it and all we needed to worry about was getting me better, but I knew and he knew we would talk about it eventually.

My head hurt like hell and it was hard to concentrate, but looking at the worry etched on his face made me feel guiltier. I didn't feel guilt so much for breaking the rule, as seeing in his eyes and in his body language how distressed he was over the accident and subsequent injuries. In the back of my mind I was worried about that coming conversation and consequences he promised just a few hours earlier.

Drew left at some point after they admitted me to a room. He needed to get some rest of his own and make phone calls and mostly because the hospital staff insisted he leave since visiting hours were over. He gave me a gentle kiss before he left, wished me well and said he would return the next morning, when they would hopefully let me leave. I hated hospitals and didn't want to be in one any longer than necessary.

Drew came in the next morning as I was eating my rather bland hospital breakfast of Wheaties cereal and orange juice. I was actually forcing myself to eat it, because I mostly felt nauseated rather than hungry. So when Drew entered the room I pushed the tray away and decided I was done.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he pulled a chair beside the bed concern in his voice. “Has the doctor been in yet?”

“No, the nurse said he should be here soon though,” I said answering his second question first. “And I feel like a miniature version of the cast for Stomp is inside my head doing a show. Oh and I constantly feel like I am going to hurl any minute, my ankle feels like somebody has a vise on it, but the good news is my shoulder already feels tons better. Thank god for good drugs, because as bad as I hurt right now, I know it could be ten times worse.” He smiled at my answer. I think my list of complaints encouraged him that I was indeed better than I had been the previous night, even if I still felt and looked like shit.

“Well glad to hear you aren't any worse and the drugs are working.” He glanced over at the window, and I could see proof from the lines on his face and dark circles under his eyes that he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. It only intensified my guilt.

I sometimes don't understand why I choose to deliberately disobey him, especially when in reality the rules weren't that unreasonable. It doesn't happen that often. More times than not I just sort of find myself falling into trouble-not really intending to do it, but somehow missing all the warning signs along the way until it is too late and I have driven right over the cliff.

Drew says sometimes I just seem to have this need to kick at the boundaries to make sure the rules are still there, but this wasn't a small kick at the boundaries, it was a flying leap right over the line and well into forbidden territory. This wasn't a little pushing to see if he pushes back, this was a shove that landed both of us on our asses and I didn't have any explanation for why, I just got it into my head to be stubborn. My mom always said I was rather muleheaded and I guess it is a trait I hadn't outgrown no matter how much my parents and Drew tried to break me of it.

“I have some good news for you.” He said with a smile, the first genuine smile I had seen since the accident. “I looked your bike over this morning, and it isn't badly damaged. It is rideable right now, and just has a little cosmetic damage.” He nudged my good shoulder gently. “Looks like your bike fared better than you did. Also, I called my dad about . . . .” Drew's sentence was cut off by the arrival of the doctor carrying my chart in his hands.

“Good news Evan,” he said as he stood by my bed and was writing in my chart. “I am going to clear you to leave as soon as all the discharge paper work is taken care of. You are a very lucky young man. You could have come out of that accident much worse for the wear. You do have a concussion which is the biggest concern . . .” I sort of half listened as the doctor explain what we needed to do post discharge, but I could tell he was mostly talking to Drew explaining what signs to look for if the concussion were getting worse and when to seek out a doctor.

The doctor also couldn't help giving me his own two cents about the importance of wearing a helmet when on a bike. I listened and nodded where needed. My lesson was learned-from here on out this butt wasn't sitting on a bike unless a helmet was on my head. And to be honest it wasn't the aches and pains that made me make this promise, it was seeing just how badly I had scared Drew.

About an hour and a half later Drew and I walked through the door of our cabin, and my apprehension ratcheted up quite a bit. I felt guilty as hell, and on one hand knew I deserved any punishment Drew wanted to mete out, but on the other knowing I had done something to merit punishment always put butterflies in my stomach.

“I'm sorry. I screwed up, god I should've listened to you, I'm so sorry,” I said as soon as Drew close the door. Drew stepped over to me and I leaned into him and as he put his arms around me the flood gates opened. I started crying into his shoulder uncontrollably. He gently led me to the bed, where he cradled me in his arms until the tears slowed. I felt like a fool. I generally wasn't this big of a crying mess. But my foolishness for both riding without my helmet and for hurting the one man I loved with all my heart weighed even more on my shoulders.

“Shh, I know you are Evan, I know you are.” He said and rubbed my back as I cried. I think we sat there, with me softly crying and Drew just slowly rubbing my back and muttering soft words for quite a while. At some point I stretched out on the bed, laying on my side, with the non stitched side of my head cradled on his lap, but I didn't really remember doing it.

“Are you going to spank me?” I finally asked.

“You know Evan, I have been thinking and thinking all night about this. You scared the hell out of me last night. I don't know for sure what woke me up from my nap-I think it was the sound of your bike starting up. But I felt so damn helpless when I saw your bike go down and you flying through the air like that.” I could see the tears pooling in his eyes once again. God I felt so terrible for putting him through that, simply because I was determined to have my own way about something-like a screaming toddler demanding a toy at the store.

He looked up at the ceiling, as if gathering his thoughts. “Evan, I know when we discussed the helmet issue I told you that I would spank you if you rode without one, but I can't do it. Not when you have a concussion, stitches in your head, a sprained ankle, a dislocated shoulder, and God knows how many other aches and pains. God, I would feel like a monster if I spanked you in that condition. And I am pretty certain I can't create any pain in your ass, that would hurt as much as you are hurting right now.” Not to mention I probably would have tossed my Wheaties all over his shoes if he tried to spank me given the nausea I was feeling.

“I, um, well uh . . .” I couldn't really gather my thoughts. I don't know if my inability to put the words together were nervousness or my concussion or some combination. I fully expected to be spanked at some point before the conversation began. I just wasn't sure how to ask if this was complete mercy, or if it was going to be a rain date with the promised spanking to be held at some point in the future after I had healed.

“But,” He took a deep breath and exhaled and I felt his hand stop moving on my back. “This doesn't mean that I think your disobedience is okay or that it will go unpunished. So, I have decided that I am going to take the keys to your bike for a while. Obviously you can't ride until the concussion symptoms are gone, but I will be keeping them for a while after that as well.”

I stiffened. I loved my bike and I loved riding. I sat up slightly on my elbows and looked him in the eye and asked.

“For how long?”

“I don't really know yet. A while I think-at least until I feel like you can be trusted to ride safely and am confident seeing you on a bike won't scare the crap out of me. So, I am leaving the how long open ended. You won't be banned from riding once the doctor clears you to ride, you will just be riding bitch until further notice.”

If it wasn't for the fact that I knew it would hurt like hell, I would have slammed my head back down onto the bed. I almost would rather have gotten a spanking than to lose the bike for any length of time. I hated riding bitch, but deep down I was thankful that he wasn't ignoring the disobedience. Drew was wise. He knew I felt guilty. And he knew a way to make his point that didn't involve spanking my already semi broken body. A point I would definitely feel.

We continued to sit in the bed and at some point we both fell asleep curled up in each others arms.

The End.