Prevention

Paul settled down to watch the evening news, mug of tea resting beside him on the arm of the sofa.  He was happily replete from the spaghetti Bolognese Stephen had made - it was the one real dish his partner could cook but since pasta was one of Paul’s favourite things he was quite content.  They had the dish once a week, and the rest of the time Paul cooked while Stephen ‘skivvied’ as he put it. 

Paul looked over at his lover, who was settling down himself with the laptop.  It was a nightly ritual of sorts; Stephen would check his email while Paul watched the news.  The laptop was a fairly new thing; Paul had bought it for Stephen for Christmas.  The desktop computer had always been inconvenient, stuck in the small spare bedroom upstairs, and they both liked the fact that now they could keep each other company while they each kept up to date with the world in their own way. 

Paul turned his attention back to the television, becoming engrossed in news of the latest political scandal until Stephen suddenly made a strange noise.  Paul looked over and could see Stephen frowning and shaking his head.

“I don’t believe it!” Stephen exclaimed angrily, his attention still on the laptop screen as he spoke.  “These bloody chain letters!”

“What’s up?”  Paul said mildly.  The best thing when Stephen got into a temper was to be quiet and reasonable, find out the problem and then try and calm him down.  His hot-headedness had led to him getting in trouble for not thinking things through too many times to count in his life.

“I hate these things.  You know, someone sends an email and tells you to pass it along to twenty other people or you’ll get bad luck for the rest of your life?  It’s nothing more than emotional blackmail.  I delete the things whenever I get them, but I thought most people now had more sense than to pass them on.”

“So has someone sent you one, then?” asked Paul.

“Not just to me!  That’s what I can’t believe – they’ve sent it to the whole email list!  There’s over two hundred of us on this group and I don’t think any one of us wanted to see the thing.  Right, that’s it,” he said grimly, beginning to type rapidly.

“What’s it?  Just what’re you typing, Stephen?” queried Paul.

“I’m going to tell this woman just what I think of her and her chain letter.  Don’t we get enough spam of our own without people on the list sending it?  It’s obvious she hasn’t read the list guidelines,” he said sarcastically.

Paul moved to lean over Stephen’s shoulder and read what he was writing.

“Stephen!  You can’t put that!” he said, laughing but meaning it seriously for all that.  “Just because someone made a mistake doesn’t mean you have to be rude.  Come on, put that thing away and come sit down with me for a bit.  You can send an email tomorrow if you still feel the same, but I think you should sleep on it for tonight.”

Stephen scowled.  “I’m really mad about this, Paul.  You know I had to change my email address last year because of all that spam I kept on getting.”

“I know, but that’s not this woman’s fault, is it sweetheart?  Besides, at least you know where you can get Viagra pills from now,” Paul joked.

“Yeah, and it’s not like I need them with you around, is it!” Stephen finally grinned up at Paul. 

He saved his ranting email as a draft and closed the laptop, allowing himself to be pulled into a much comfier position on the sofa, leaning against Paul.  He snuggled in closer as Paul’s arm came round him, warm and strong.  Nope, he didn’t think he’d be needing those Viagra pills any time soon.

***

The next evening started off as a reprise of the previous day, with meatloaf instead of pasta.  Yet another politician found to be having an affair and yet another strange noise from Stephen.

“Not another chain letter?” asked Paul, looking over at Stephen.  Stephen didn’t look annoyed this time, though, in fact Paul could only classify the expression on his face as ‘odd’. 

“No, no,” Stephen said, his tone strange as well.  He almost sounded – relieved?  “The woman’s apologised.  That’s all sorted.  No, it seems I have you to thank for saving me from a spanking.”

“What?” Paul frowned himself – the discipline between them was mutually agreed, he wouldn’t allow anyone else to touch his partner.

“Metaphorical, I mean!” Stephen laughed and Paul relaxed.  “Someone else wrote a rather nasty email about this chain letter, if I do say so myself, and they got jumped on by the List Mum.  Who said that flames like that weren’t allowed on the list, hadn’t the person read the list guidelines?  It was rather a neat little telling off, you’d have been proud.  I think the List Mum must be an Alpha for sure.  And there but for the grace of Paul….”

“You know I don’t normally say ‘I told you so’, but I’m going to remind you of this whenever you get agitated over your emails, you know!” joked Paul.

“Remind me, please remind me!  I hate to think how nearly I made a fool of myself in front of the whole list.”  Stephen shuddered, closing the internet connection and coming over to join his lover.  “Lord, who would want to sleep with him?!” he exclaimed in horror, caught by the ongoing news story.

“Now that’s one question I really can’t answer,” replied Paul, taking a large mouthful of tea before slumping back with his arm around Stephen.  Yes, they had their own comfortable little routine in the evenings and Paul wouldn’t change it or his hot-headed partner for anything in the world.