Chapter 1

Jared sighed as he reached the end of the row of carrots he was thinning and paused to catch his breath. Pushing his hair out of his eyes with the back of one dirty hand, he surveyed the garden with satisfaction.

It wasn't very big, but he was proud of it. Neat rows of feathery carrot tops and thin, straight spears of onion marched in rows alongside lush green hills of potatoes. Pole beans climbed up and around the sturdy stalks of nearly ripe corn, both protected from predators by the prickly leaves of the squash and pumpkin vines covering the ground beneath. Beyond the garden stood the beginnings of their orchard - two apple, two cherry and two peach trees. He couldn't wait for them to get big enough to bear fruit; he could almost taste the pies and preserves he would be making for Ethan someday.

A light breeze ruffled his hair, easing the heat of the mid-afternoon sun and carrying the cool scent of the nearby creek and the rich earthy aroma of the garden, as well as the gentle clucking of the hens as they hunted for bugs in the tall grass. From the pasture behind the barn came an occasional whistle or call as Ethan worked with the young horses.

Jared couldn't remember when he had been so happy. They had made a second trip to town in late spring, to pick up their piglets, trees and summer supplies and celebrate his 18th birthday with Estelle and the girls. It had been good to see them again, to hear about Claire's unexpected marriage and all the other town gossip, to celebrate a special birthday and share the news of his partnership with Ethan.

They had also picked up another three horses to train. With Jared to help, Ethan was able to take on more work, which meant more money in the bank, which in turn meant more improvements to the ranch and, someday, a bigger herd of their own. He was a real contributing partner, he thought with satisfaction, not just another mouth to feed.

"Hey! Watch it, Yip!" His musing was interrupted by the arrival of a small black-and-white tornado, one that almost knocked him on his butt with its enthusiastic arrival. Catching the young pup in his arms, the young man began rubbing around his ears in the way that usually had him whining in delight. "How ya doin', boy? Catch any good grasshoppers today?"

The half-grown puppy gave an excited woof and wriggled happily under his hand, then, catching sight of a stealthy movement in the grass, bounded off after it, barking as ferociously as if he was chasing a mountain lion.

Jared shook his head in exasperation. "Yip, leave the damned cats alone!" he yelled, although with no real expectation of being obeyed.

Ethan, tired of hearing him bitch about mice in the pantry, had spent four bits for a pair of half-grown, half-wild mousers while they were in town. They weren't much for being held or petted, but they were hell on mice. They easily kept both the cabin and barn pest-free and still had plenty of time to torment Yip. One of their favorite games was to goad him into chasing them, then dart up the nearest tree. Once there, they would perch on a branch just out of his reach, gazing down at him with cool contempt as he leaped at the trunk in agonized frustration, barking hysterically as if he were demanding that they come down and fight like a dog.

Jared turned back to his task, frowning a little as he noticed that some of the more tender plants were wilting under the hot summer sun. He would have to water again when he finished. Once that would have meant either praying for rain or carrying pails of water up and down the rows and ladling it around each plant.

Now, thanks to the irrigation system Ethan had come up with, it meant walking a short distance up the creek and opening the water gate they had built into the bank. The series of ditches leading from it not only watered the garden, but also filled the shallow wells they had dug around each fruit tree. Ethan said he couldn't take credit for the idea; he got it from an ancient Egyptian. Jared didn't know much about foreigners or their gardens, but it sure beat lugging around heavy buckets of water.

Fox and Gideon had helped them dig the trenches in return for some help at their place. Their cabin had been well built, but had deteriorated after it was abandoned. There were times when Fox could use an extra hand or two with the repairs and they had traded work back and forth several times. Jared enjoyed those days. It gave him a chance to see his best friend and often provided great entertainment as well. His memories of those occasions kept him occupied to the end of another row of carrots and he was still smiling as he sat back on his heels and swiped his sweaty forearm across his forehead again.

"Something funny?"

Jared looked up, gray eyes squinting against the afternoon sun. "Oh, hi, Ethan. I was just thinking about Gideon at branding time."

"That's worth a laugh," Ethan agreed with a smile of his own. He took the younger man's hand and pulled him to his feet. "The garden is looking good."

"Except for the spots where that damned rabbit got into it." Jared glowered at the patch of mutilated plants.

"He did leave a dent in it. You'll have to set some snares."

"I already took care of it," the young man declared somewhat smugly. "We're having him for supper tonight."

"Only seems fair." Ethan eyed the perspiration dewing Jared's forehead and sun-reddened cheeks. "You should be wearing your hat, little boy. You're going to give yourself sunstroke if you aren't careful."

"I'm all right. It's not that hot today." Jared objected as he tried to ease his sweat-soaked shirt from his body. After wriggling uncomfortably for a moment, he gave up and took it off.

"You look hot." Ethan's eyes skimmed over the young man measuringly, from the tousled blond hair he kept shoving away from his face to his bare toes, from the clear gray eyes and full, sensitive mouth to the flat stomach and fine trail of hair disappearing into the waistband of his pants.

He was starting to fill out across the chest and shoulders, too, and putting some meat on his bones, Ethan observed appreciatively. He wasn't ever going to be a real big man but he had lost that gaunt, half-starved look and you could no longer count every rib. He was more than ready to run his hands over that straight, smooth back, to cup the swell of the buttocks those pants clung to so lovingly before dropping over firm muscled thighs. "And you need a bath."

"I'm not-- I don't--" Jared lost his train of thought, flushing under the cool lascivious survey. "Ethan, stop that!"

"Stop what, little boy?' Ethan asked with a too-innocent grin, enjoying the havoc he was wreaking on Jared's system.

"You know what! I still have work to do!" he protested, even as he made his own slow appraisal. From the way his tongue flicked over his lower lip he liked what he saw, and his eyes danced as his hands provocatively toyed with the top button of his pants.

"It'll wait." Ethan pulled the young man to him, one hand resting possessively on his butt while the other went behind his head and drew him into a deep, intimate kiss.

Jared's lips parted willingly, reveling in the assault on his mouth and eager to return it. He wrapped both arms around Ethan's neck, knocking his hat off, and tangled his fingers in the dark hair, pushing up on his toes in an effort to get even closer.

Ethan broke away first, breathing hard. "Creek, Jared. We're not going to make love in the potatoes.

"No," Jared agreed breathlessly, managing a ghost of a laugh. "We'd make a worse mess than the rabbit did."

A short distance upstream a shelf of granite bordered the creek bed and the spring floods had carved out a small pool at its base. It wasn't big enough or deep enough for real swimming, but it was excellent for bathing. They kept soap and lubricant in niches in the rock and usually left an old horse blanket there as well. It took only a moment to unfold it and spread it on the grassy bank. In another moment, they had shed the rest of their clothes and were sinking down onto it, hands and mouths already busy.

Some time later, Jared lay with his head on Ethan's chest listening to the rapid heartbeat settle back into its usual rhythm as he caught his own breath. He lay quietly, enjoying the feel of the sun on his back, the cool caress of the breeze on his exposed skin, the feel of Ethan against his cheek. How had he gotten so lucky? Less than a year ago, he had been homeless and alone, making his way back to a life that was bleak and lonely at best. Now he had everything he had ever wanted and more. How had he--

A gray form streaked through the bushes and up a nearby tree, with Yip in hot pursuit.

"Yip!" he raised his head and whispered as loudly as he could. "Hush! You're going to wake Ethan!"

"I'm awake, little boy," Ethan replied lazily. He drew Jared's head down for an affectionate kiss before gently rubbing his thumb over the younger man's cheek. "And you still need a bath."

Jared was dishing up rabbit stew when Ethan came in from doing chores. "Wash up, Ethan," he ordered. "I just have to get the biscuits out of the oven and we can eat."

Neither talked much during supper; both had worked hard all day and shoveling down the thick stew and fluffy biscuits was their first priority. After they had finished, Ethan scraped the plates into a bucket reserved for the pigs while Jared filled the dishpan with hot soapy water and then, taking a towel from the rack, he dried the dishes that Jared was washing.

"Do you want more coffee?" the younger man asked, sloshing the pot experimentally. "I think there's enough for another cup or two."

"Sure. Why don't we take it out on the porch?"

"You go ahead. I need to dump the wash water and feed Yip first."

Ethan drained the pot into two cups and carried them outside, passing Jared on his way back in with the empty dishpan. Two straight-back chairs sat on the porch and he put the cups on the wooden crate between them before sitting down and propping his feet on the rail in front of him. Night was falling quickly; the first stars were already visible overhead while the mountains to the west were like black cardboard cutouts against the crimson sunset.

After a few minutes Jared came out, followed by Yip, and sat next to him, tipping his chair back and propping his own feet on the railing. He picked up his cup and held it without drinking, content to sit in silence and listen to the light chirp of the crickets and the deeper croaking of the bullfrogs down by the creek.

"Fox came by this afternoon," Ethan said at last, idly stroking Yip's head.

"Oh? I didn't see him."

"He was only here long enough to borrow the adze. Gideon stayed home and Fox doesn't like to leave him alone for too long at a time. He's making shingles for their new roof"

"That should make Gideon happy. He said he thinks it's drier outside when it rains."

Ethan laughed. "What do you have planned for tomorrow?"

Jared considered it. "I need to clean the chicken house and wash clothes and we're just about out of butter. The pigs are digging under the fence again so I thought I'd fill in the hole before we have to chase them all over creation."

"I can do the churning if you want," Ethan offered, "if you can spare a little time to help with Samson. He's throwing tantrums again."

"We could always geld him," Jared suggested hopefully. The big chestnut stallion was his least favorite horse on the place. He could see why Ross Delaney wanted him uncut; his size and conformation was going to make him very popular for stud. He also had a wicked temper and was very poorly trained. The combination made turning him into a champion cutting horse a real challenge.

"Don't tempt me," Ethan replied. "He was a real bastard today, and if he keeps it up I'm going to buy him from Ross just so we can. Can you rub some liniment into my shoulders tonight?"

"Sure. Remind me when we go to bed."

They lapsed into silence again, relaxing and enjoying the cool, peaceful evening as they finished their coffee. Finally, Ethan rose and stretched. "I'm going to check on the stock. Morning comes early."

Jared rose as well, taking the cups to be rinsed, then preparing starter for the breakfast pancakes. He made the coffee so Ethan only had to set the pot on the stove in the morning and was turning back the bed covers when Ethan came back in.

"Lay on your stomach and I'll do your shoulders now," he ordered as Ethan undressed and got into bed.

He finished stripping off his own clothes and, after straddling Ethan's hips, got the bottle of oil off the chest by the bed. He warmed a small pool of it in his hands, then began kneading the broad, muscular shoulders and back, finding the knots and digging into them until the small, pained grunts turned into a series of blissful sighs.

"Thank you, little boy," Ethan murmured drowsily.

"Any time," Jared replied softly, bending to kiss one bare shoulder. He replaced the cap on the bottle and got up to wipe the oil from his hands and blow out the lamp. Then, climbing over Ethan, he snuggled into his usual place against his lover and curled up against his side. Within moments, the only sound in the cabin was the deep, even breathing of the two sleeping men.

~~~~~

Jared dropped his clean dry clothes on the flat rock beside the creek and gratefully stripped off his filthy ones. Wading into the creek, he ducked under the water and submerged himself in the deepest part of the pool until he could no longer hold his breath, then knelt on the sandy bottom, gasping and shaking his wet hair out of his face.

It had been a long day. He had risen with the sun, cooked breakfast and washed dishes, and then spent half the morning laboring over the washboard. It didn't seem like he owned many clothes until washday; then they seemed to come out of the woodwork. At least Ethan was willing to help hang it out and bring it in again when it was dry.

After that, he had been dumped on his butt by the stallion more times than he could count, hauled enough rocks and gravel to fill in the hole the pigs were rooting under the fence, cleaned the chicken house, and killed and dressed out two of the extra young cockerels that had hatched that spring. One of them was to be fried for supper and the other one would make chicken and dumplings the next day.

He got the soap and wearily scrubbed off the dirt and grime he had been accumulating all day. After rinsing the last of the soap out of his hair, he glanced at the sun. No point in going back to work now. Ethan should be along anytime. He was floating on his back in the cool water, relaxed and half-asleep in the warm sunshine, when Yip began barking.

"Yip, leave the cats alone," he called lazily without bothering to open his eyes.

"Excuse me! You, there, in the water! Could you tell me where I might find Ethan Montgomery?"

A small wave shot across the pool as Jared's feet hit the bottom of the creek and he crouched in the water, staring up at the stranger on the bank. He recognized the horse as one from the town's livery stable, but he had never seen the man before. At least he didn't think he had. He couldn't see the man's face since he had his flat-crowned hat tipped to shade his eyes from the sun, but Jared didn't recognize his build and he was dressed in fine clothing that automatically labeled him a newly arrived Easterner.

He reached for his rifle and swore under his breath as he realized it was lying on the bank next to his clothes. What was the point of carrying the damned thing everywhere he went if it was never at hand when he needed it?

"Excuse me," the man said again, speaking slowly and clearly as if to make up for his rich southern accent. "I'm looking for Ethan Montgomery. The directions I was given in the last town seemed to indicate that he lives near here, but I'm afraid I've gotten a little turned around."

"Uh-- try the pasture behind the barn." Jared pointed downstream. "If you go that way about a quarter mile, you'll run into the road and you can see the barn from there."

"Thank you." The man's hand started toward his pocket and then hesitated, as if he were about to toss a coin in Jared's direction, and then thought better of it.

As soon as the stranger had turned his horse, Jared splashed over to the bank where his clothes lay and climbed out of the creek. He hurriedly pulled on his pants, then shoved his bare feet into his boots. Grabbing his rifle, he headed for the pasture behind the barn, awkwardly shrugging into his shirt as he went.

By cutting across the fields, he arrived at the pasture just after the stranger did. The man was still on horseback, gazing down at Ethan, and Jared's grip tightened on his rifle. "Ethan?" he called as he crossed the pasture. "Everything all right?"

"Everything is fine, Jared," he replied, his tone calm if not easy. "I'd like you to meet my brother, Stephen. Stephen, this is my partner, Jared."

Jared's mind raced, remembering the story Ethan had told him about his family. This must be his younger brother, the one who was supposed to be the minister. Now that he wasn't directly in the sun, Jared could see the resemblance to Ethan. He wasn't as handsome, though. He was more like a blurred copy of Ethan; still good-looking, but a little smaller and less muscular, with the soft build and pale complexion of a man who spends most of his time indoors. Jared had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach but he tried to be mindful of his manners, as Ethan would expect. "How do you do?"

Stephen greeted him automatically, his mind obviously on more important matters. "Aren't you going to invite me to get down, Ethan? We need to talk."

Ethan shrugged." I don't know what we have to talk about, but you're welcome to stay and visit for a while. Can you stretch supper to feed another person, Jared?"

"Sure," he replied, even though in reality he wasn't at all sure about it. Ethan's voice might say everything was fine, but his stance and the set of his shoulders betrayed his tension. Every instinct said to send the man packing, not invite him to stay.

"Why don't you take care of your horse while I get cleaned up and then we can talk?" Ethan continued. "Jared can show you where to put him."

Jared watched Ethan walk away with dismay before turning to the intruder. "Uh-- there's an empty stall in the barn."

He showed Stephen where it was and then filled a water bucket and got a little hay and grain for the horse while Stephen unsaddled it. "Brushes and combs are hanging on the wall there," he pointed out as Stephen led the horse into the stall.

"So this is Ethan's horse farm," Stephen observed.

"Ranch," Jared corrected shortly. "We call it a ranch out here."

"Ranch, then. There are some good-looking horses here. Are all of them his?"

"Some. Some we're training for other people."

"So he's doing well for himself."

"Well enough," Jared replied, uncomfortable with the questioning. "I need to get back to the cabin and start supper. Give a yell if you need anything else."

He grew increasingly morose as he cut up the chickens and peeled potatoes. He didn't know what Ethan's brother wanted, but it couldn't be good. Why couldn't the man just leave them alone?

Ethan got clean clothes from the cabin and went down to the creek, where he did a sketchy job of bathing, his mind in turmoil.

Why was Stephen here? Why now after all the years he had been away? What was so important that the family would send Stephen to seek him out? Whatever they wanted, it wasn't going to change anything. This was his life now, his and Jared's, and nothing was going to change that. Feeling better with that resolve, he dressed and went back to the cabin to relieve Jared of his duties as reluctant host.

Jared was frying chicken and attempting to converse with Stephen when he entered, and looked extremely relieved to see him. "Supper will be ready by the time you do chores, Ethan," he said. "Unless you want to watch it and talk to your brother while I do them?"

Ethan suppressed a smile at the hopeful note of the latter sentence. "No, that's all right, Jared. I'll do them. Stephen can come along and talk to me while you finish supper."

"Nice place. You have some good stock," Stephen observed as he trailed Ethan around the corrals. "Are you using Lucifer as stud?"

"For the most part."

"How many acres do you have here?"

"What are you doing here, Stephen?" Ethan countered.

"I came to visit you."

Ethan quirked an eyebrow. "After six years of silence? Why did Father send you, Stephen? Or was it Aaron?"

"Father," Stephen confessed, and Ethan felt a quick surge of relief. He had been afraid that the old man was dead. "He gave me a letter for you."

"So you're working for the US Mail now?"

Stephen flushed. "Damn it, Ethan! Why do you have to be so hostile? Not that I expected you to be overjoyed, but you could pretend to be glad to see me. And if you had replied to his earlier letter, I wouldn't have had to come all this way for a personal delivery!"

"I'm sorry, Stephen," Ethan replied sincerely, slightly ashamed of his lack of manners. "I am glad to see you, and I didn't reply to the letter because I didn't receive it. We haven't been to town for several months."

Stephen reached into an inside pocket, but Ethan made a staying gesture. "I can't read it now, Stephen. I need to get the chores done. Jared's a good cook and he doesn't appreciate letting it sit until it's cold."

"Who is he, anyway?" Stephen asked as Ethan led Daisy into the milking stall and got his bucket and stool.

"He's my partner. There's a pail next to that barrel of mash. Fill it and dump it into the pigs' trough, will you?"

"He's a little young to be a partner, isn't he?" Stephen persisted when he came back with the empty bucket. "Where did he come from? Does he have anywhere else to go?"

"Boys grow up fast in the west," Ethan replied shortly, stung by the seeming criticism of Jared. "He came to live with me when his mother died, he pulls his weight with no problem and I made him my partner. Why all the questions, Stephen?"

"Read the letter from Father."

"After supper."

Jared was stirring gravy when they returned to the cabin. "Sit down, Ethan. It's almost done." He set the finished gravy on the table next to the platter of chicken and bowl of potatoes and turned back to the stove for the pan of biscuits.

"This looks excellent, Jared," Ethan praised as he filled his plate. "Would you like some peas, Stephen? They're fresh from our garden. How is Father doing? Is Aunt Alice May still keeping house for him?"

He longed for a few quiet moments to think, but felt obligated to make dinner conversation. Stephen clearly expected it and Jared, between hunger and distrust of strangers, just as clearly wasn't going to provide it.

"He's doing well. He has a touch of rheumatism, but that's to be expected at his age. Constance manages the house now, but Aunt Alice May still gives her plenty of advice." He laughed and Ethan smiled.

"Aunt Alice May is known for her helpful advice, wanted or not," he explained to Jared. "And how are you doing, Stephen? You must be through seminary by now. Do you have a church near home or are you living elsewhere now?"

"I didn't finish seminary." He took a deep breath. "After you left, I took your place in the law firm."

"I see." Why did that upset him, Ethan wondered. It shouldn't come as a surprise. He had known Father wouldn't take his defection lightly. Moving Stephen into the role of second son would have been his first reaction.

"Do you remember Isabelle?" Stephen continued somewhat awkwardly. "She and I married about 4 years ago. We have two children now, Daniel and Elizabeth."

"Congratulations. How are Aaron and Constance? And Eleanor and Jonathan?"

News of the rest of the family carried them through supper before Stephen's patience ran out.

"Is there somewhere private you can read this letter and we can talk about it?" he asked as Jared silently began clearing the table.

Ethan bit his tongue at the unthinking rudeness, mindful that he was setting an example for Jared. "I don't have any secrets from my partner. But why don't we take our coffee out onto the porch?" he suggested. "Jared, leave the dishes. I'll help you with them a little later."

"No, I don't mind doing them now. You go along and talk to your brother."

"You wash dishes?" Stephen asked with a smile as they took their cups outside.

"I do whatever is necessary, just as Jared does," Ethan replied coolly. He set the lamp he carried on the crate next to his coffee and held his hand out for the letter. After reading it, he tipped his chair back and rested his head against the cabin wall. He closed his eye and forced down the emotions coursing through him. When he felt calmer, he opened them again.

"Do you know what's in this letter?"

"Yes. Father has had a change of heart. He has forgiven you and would like you to return home. He's even prepared to allow you a free hand with the horses."

"I'm overwhelmed by his generosity," Ethan replied dryly.

"How can you be so callous?" Stephen flashed. "It wasn't easy for him to bend his pride and admit he made a mistake."

"The only mistake he admitted to was thinking that Aaron was competent enough to handle the stables. He still doesn't care that he tried to force me into a life I hated with a woman I despised. The only reason he's bending his pride now is that he needs me to bail Aaron out. Isn't it?"

"I-- He--"

"That's what I thought. Tell him I'm not interested."

"Ethan! How can you talk like that? How can you turn your back on family?"

"Easy. The same way the family turned its back on me. Jared!" he raised his voice slightly, although he knew the younger man could hear him clearly through the open window. "Are you about done in there?"

"Just about," Jared replied. He came to the door, coffeepot in his hand. "Do either of you want more of this before I pour it out?"

"No, I'm going to bed," Stephen replied shortly. "If you have a place for *family* to sleep, Ethan? I wouldn't want to put you out at all."

"We don't have an extra bed, no," Ethan replied evenly, ignoring the sarcasm. "But you can bed down in the hayloft in the barn if you want to. Jared, get him some blankets, please."

Jared went to get the extra quilts from their chest, not sure what to think. He had heard most of their conversation, enough to know what was going on and be worried about it. Ethan was refusing now, but he was angry. Would he reconsider when he had a chance to calm down and think about it? And if he did, what would it mean for the two of them? What would happen with the ranch?

"I'm going to walk out with Stephen and check on the stock, Jared. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"All right."

He had finished his bedtime chores and was in bed, still worrying, when Ethan came in. The expression on the older man's face and the set of his shoulders filled Jared with self-reproach. How could he be so selfish? How could he worry about what this meant to him when it meant so much more to Ethan?

"Come to bed, Ethan," he urged, then asked more hesitantly, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, little boy," he replied with a heavy sigh as he undressed and got into bed. "Stephen's leaving first thing in the morning, so there isn't really anything to talk about. I just want to hold you for awhile."

"Oh." Not knowing what else to say, Jared pressed tight against Ethan's side and Ethan slowly stroked his back until they both fell into a troubled sleep.

"Is Stephen coming in for breakfast before he leaves?" Jared asked when Ethan came in from doing chores the next morning.

"He isn't leaving this morning," Ethan replied as he set the milk bucket down and began to wash his hands.

"Oh. I thought he said--"

"He changed his mind. He's going to stay and see if he can talk me into it," Ethan explained somewhat cynically. "He'll be in for breakfast in a few minutes.

Stephen stayed for almost a week, looking over the stock, giving Ethan a hand with the horses and chores and renewing old ties. Jared was wary at first, but if Stephen was trying to change Ethan's mind, he didn't see how. Stephen talked about home, reminiscing about old friends and filling his brother in on their activities, but he never mentioned the possibility of Ethan returning with him. Instead, he was charming and witty, joking with Ethan and treating Jared as he would a young cousin. Jared was almost sorry when the time came for him to leave.

They were standing in the yard saying their good-byes before he brought the matter up again.

"Why don't you come home, Ethan?" he urged for the first time since the night of his arrival. "At least come for a visit, even if you aren't going to stay."

"Will Father want to see me if I don't plan to stay?" Ethan asked skeptically. "Or would it be the same battle of wills we had before I left?"

"I think he would press you to stay," Stephen admitted honestly. "He misses you, Ethan. He wants you to come home. But I think he would understand if you don't."

"I'll think about it," Ethan promised.

"Bring Jared, too," Stephen urged. "Give him a chance to see where you grew up."

"I'll think about it," Ethan repeated. "Now, are you sure you packed everything?"

"Yes, big brother, I packed everything." Stephen replied with a roll of his eyes that made Jared laugh. "Make him bring you to Virginia for Christmas, Jared. You'll enjoy it."

"I'll think about it," Jared mimicked and they all laughed.

"Thank you for coming, Stephen," Ethan said seriously. "It was good to see you again."

"It was good to see you, too," Stephen returned as he swung up onto the back of the hired gelding. "Even if I'm not taking back the answer I was hoping for. You take care of yourself, big brother."

Ethan reached up to clasp his hand. "You, too, little brother. You, too."

~~~~~~

Jared sat on the blanket by the creek, torn between anger and exasperation. He had thought that once Stephen was gone, things would get back to normal. Instead they seemed to be getting worse. Ethan was gruff and irritable, snapping over minor aggravations and happy only when he was alone with the horses. Jared wished, not for the first time, that Ethan's family had left them the hell alone. Finally, as the sun began to dip behind the mountains, he dressed and stomped back to the cabin.

"Ethan?" Finding the cabin empty, he checked first the barn, then the corral. No Ethan. "Where is he, Yip?" he asked the puppy gamboling about him. "Find Ethan, Yip!"

Yip barked twice and then sat down, panting happily.

"Stupid mutt. ETHAN!"

"What?"

Jared whirled in surprise "Where were you? I've been looking all over for you."

"I was feeding the pigs. Is supper ready?"

"No, supper isn't ready!" Jared's exasperation overflowed. "I've been down by the creek waiting for you for the past hour!"

"I'm sorry, little boy," Ethan sighed. "I guess I lost track of time."

"You've been doing that a lot lately," Jared observed.

"I've had a lot on my mind. Make supper while I finish the chores, all right?"

That was it, Jared decided sternly as he fried ham and scrambled eggs. He had been as patient as he was going to be. He and Ethan were going to have a little talk.

He chose his moment carefully, waiting until they were sitting on the porch watching the moon rise.

"Do you want to move back to Virginia, Ethan?" he asked flatly. "Do you want to take your father up on his offer?"

"What?" Ethan stared at him in surprise. "No, of course not, Jared. I have everything I need right here."

"Then why are you brooding about it?"

"I'm not--" He paused. "I guess I have been brooding, haven't I? I'm sorry, little boy. I haven't been very kind to you lately."

"I don't care if you're kind." Jared brushed off the apology. "But I want to know where we stand. I want to know what's going on."

"I don't want to move back to Virginia, Jared," Ethan told him firmly. "The thought of living that kind of life, so constricted and bounded by rules and conventions appalls me."

"But?"

"But," Ethan sighed, "my father made a gesture that was very hard for him. He made an effort at reconciliation. How can I turn my back on that?"

"So why don't you go for a visit?" Jared asked logically. "Go reconcile, then come back home and get on with life."

"It isn't that easy, Jared. I have responsibilities here."

"Sounds like you have responsibilities there, too," Jared replied shrewdly. "So maybe you should go take care of them. I can handle things here for awhile."

"Do you know what you're offering, little boy?" Ethan asked.

Jared did. He had thought long and hard about it all week. Ethan would be gone at least a month, maybe two, and he didn't know how he was going to manage having him gone that long. He wasn't worried about the work; he knew he could handle that with no problem. But to go a month or more without seeing Ethan every day or sleeping next to him every night? To go without touching him or talking to him or sharing the events of the day, to roll over in the night and find an empty place beside him instead of the warm, hard body he loved so much. The very thought of it terrified him, but he couldn't tell Ethan that.

"I can do it," he maintained. "The horses we're training are all about ready to go back and we can hold off picking up the new ones until you return. I can handle everything else. You go do what you need to do, Ethan."

Ethan shook his head. "My place is here, Jared. We can't both go and I'm not going to leave you here by yourself for that long."

"I'm not a kid, Ethan," Jared told him levelly. "I've stayed by myself before and I can do it again."

"I said no, Jared. I'm not going to Virginia and that's final. Now let's go to bed."

Jared woke to the sound of rain pelting against the window. He smiled contentedly as he rolled over and snuggled up against Ethan. He liked rainy days. They were a day of relaxation, a break from their normal routine. Ethan usually worked on small chores around the cabin or mended tack while he took advantage of the time to do a little extra cooking and baking and work on his lessons. After that there was time to read, something they didn't get to do very often in the summer. He was whistling under his breath, frying eggs and thinking about making buttermilk donuts when Ethan came in from doing chores.

"I'm going into town after breakfast, Jared. I'm going to take Homer's horses back to him and stop by to see Dash."

Jared blinked. "Isn't it a little wet? Why don't we do it after the storm has passed?"

"Because I want to do it today," Ethan replied shortly.

"All right," Jared agreed. He wasn't looking forward to spending the day in the rain, but he would if it made Ethan happy. "How soon are we leaving?"

"I want you to stay here. You can do the chores if I'm late getting back."

"But--"

"Don't argue with me, Jared!"

Jared finished making breakfast and put it on the table in bitter silence. It wasn't fair. Ethan had never been this bad-tempered before Stephen had come. Why did Ethan have to have family anyway? It was nothing but trouble!

"Jared--" Ethan reached out and tried to take his hand, but Jared jerked it away.

"Shouldn't you be leaving, Ethan?" he asked caustically. "Don't waste any more of your precious time on me."

Ethan's face darkened. "Fine. I'll try to be back by dark, but don't wait supper for me." He put on his hat and rain slicker, took his rifle from the pegs by the door and left.

"Ethan! Wait!" Jared ran to the door, regretting his temper, but Ethan was already gone.

His temper flared and ebbed and flared again several times throughout the day. He remembered what his ma had said about work taking your mind off your troubles and threw himself into a frenzy of cleaning and baking. It didn't help. By the time Ethan returned, the cabin was spotless, chicken and dumplings simmered on the back of the stove, three loaves of bread, two dozen donuts and four dozen cookies were cooling on the table and Jared's temper was ready to explode.

"Hello, little boy." Ethan hung his dripping hat and slicker on their hooks and came around the table for a kiss, seemingly oblivious to Jared's mood.

"Don't track mud on the floor," Jared warned him coldly. "I just scrubbed it."

"Why did you scrub the floor in the rain?" Ethan asked as he sat down to take his boots off. "You might have known it would get muddy right away."

Jared shrugged. "It's part of my chores. Not all of us get to go to town when it rains."

Ethan's eyes narrowed. "Watch your tone, little boy. I'm cold and I'm tired and I'm not in the mood for a tantrum."

"Whose fault is it you're cold and tired?" Jared demanded peevishly. "Did I order you to go to town without me?"

"Jared, would you sit down, stop baiting me and listen?"

Jared threw himself onto his chair by the table. "There. I'm sitting."

"When I delivered the horses, Homer told me Ma Bryson's eldest girl got married recently so. I went by and talked to her and her husband. They're going to be living and working at the boarding house, but they're willing to come here for a month or so first. They said it would be kind of a wedding trip for them. They'll be here the end of next week."

"You hired someone to come stay?" Jared jerked upright in stunned disbelief.

"Yes. I thought-"

"You HIRED someone to come stay??"

"Yes, I hired someone. I don't know what has gotten into you, little boy. I thought you'd be happy to hear I found someone--"

"Happy? You thought I would be HAPPY?" Jared's temper hit the point of no return and his voice rose with every word. "Why the hell would you think that? Why would it make me happy to know you think I'm so worthless I can't even stay by myself for a month? I thought things had changed! I thought I was your partner now and that you realized I'm not a little kid anymore! But I guess some things will never change, will they?" Jumping up, he grabbed his hat and slicker and wrenched open the cabin door.

Ethan grabbed his arm before he could leave. "Jared, where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you!" Jared knocked the hand away from him and stormed out onto the porch.

"Jared, get back here! I don't know what has gotten into you, little boy, but you are *not* taking off in the rain!'

"Why not? You did! Go to town, Ethan! Go to Virginia, go to HELL! Just leave me alone!"

Ethan caught him before he could step off the porch, turning him and heading him back into the cabin.

"Let GO of me!" Unable to break the grip on his arm, Jared began kicking Ethan and pounding on his chest.

"Stop it, Jared!" Ethan released his arm long enough to grab both wrists instead.

Fast as lightning, Jared jerked Ethan's hand to his mouth and bit down as hard as he could. In turn, he received a box to the ears that made his head spin.

Taking advantage of his momentary weakness, Ethan swept him up and over his shoulder, carried him back into the cabin and dropped him back onto the chair. "Now, tell me what the hell is going on here! I thought you would be happy to know I solved our problem."

"HAPPY!?" Jared stared up at him in astonishment, tears of outrage filling his eyes. "You thought I would be happy to know that you don't think I'm capable of staying here by myself? Happy that you had to go hire people to nursemaid me while you're gone? Happy--" his voice broke and he tried to rise from the chair, only to be pushed back by Ethan.

"God damn it, Jared." Ethan shook his head in exasperated disbelief. "You can create more trouble for yourself for no reason than anybody I ever met. Look!" He crossed to his slicker and pulled two pieces of pasteboard out of the inner pocket where they had been protected from the weather.

"What-?" Jared took them gingerly as if they would bite at any moment. "What are these?"

"Tickets, little boy. Train ticket*s*." He emphasized the s. "Kate and Albert are going to take care of the place while *we're* gone."

"Oh," Jared said weakly.

"Now, why don't you take your pants off and get in the corner, little boy?"

"But, Ethan--!"

Ethan mutely held up his hand with the trail of blood still running over his wrist and Jared gulped. "I'm sorry, Ethan."

"Not as sorry as you're going to be," he predicted ominously.

As Jared stood in the corner, listening to Ethan moving around behind him, the final vestiges of his temper died away and realization of what he had done set in. Normally he would have no compunction about his method of fighting. He had grown up in a world where punching, kicking, gouging and biting were not only normal, but expected. You did whatever it took to win.

But this was his beloved Ethan, the man who had taken him in, accepted him and cared for him when no one else had. Ethan, who loved him and who had given him his dream. And how had he repaid him? By attacking him like a wild animal. By biting him hard enough to draw blood. He should have been willing to listen. And if Ethan didn't have faith in him, he should have accepted that and tried harder. His attack only proved that he couldn't be trusted to act like an adult. He hated his temper. He hated himself. By the time Ethan was ready for him, his agony of remorse had him near tears. For once, he didn't drag his feet when Ethan called him over. He almost welcomed this spanking. There was nothing Ethan could do that would atone for what he had done.

"I'm sorry, Ethan," he said miserably as he was pulled down over the older man's thighs. "I'm so sorry."

"Being sorry doesn't change the consequences," Ethan said implacably as he brought his hand down.

~~~

"Shhh, it's all right, little boy," Ethan soothed the young man he cradled on his lap. "Don't carry on so. You're going to make yourself sick."

"I bit you," Jared mourned as he obediently tried to gulp down his sobs. "I hurt you."

"It was a simple bite, not a mortal wound, Jared" Ethan replied with a light, loving smile. "And you paid for it. It isn't worth all this grief." He paused and his arms tightened. "And I hurt you, too, little boy. I'm sorry." He rested his dark head against the blond one.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to find someone to stay so I could go with you?" Jared twisted to look into his face. "Or let me go with you?"

Ethan shrugged uncomfortably. "Because I didn't know if I could find someone we could trust to take care of the place for that long. I didn't want to get your hopes up. I didn't want to get mine up," he added in a low voice.

"I just-- It hurt, thinking you thought I couldn't handle things by myself. And I can, Ethan," he said earnestly. "You don't have to hire someone to stay."

"I know you could do it. I never doubted your ability for a minute," Ethan assured him. He struggled to explain his feelings. He didn't doubt Jared's ability, but accidents happened. He had almost lost Jared once; he couldn't stand to be away from him for a month or more, worrying and wondering if he was all right. But it was more than that. He needed Jared with him when he faced his father again. He needed the young man beside him, reminding him of all that was good and true in their relationship, to be a rock and an anchor for him when he was being pulled apart by love and duty. He wet his lips and tried to put it all into words. "I want you by my side, little boy. I need you."

"I love you, too, and I'd be proud to go with you," Jared replied. His free hand cupped Ethan's cheek and Ethan knew he understood all the things the older man couldn't say.

"Do you need me this afternoon?" Jared asked a few days later. "If you don't, I want to ride over and tell Gideon good-bye."

"No, go ahead," Ethan replied. "Can you give Fox a message for me? Ask him if he would mind stopping by occasionally while we're gone. Just in case Albert needs a hand with anything."

"All right."

Gideon was sitting on the porch when he rode up, trying to mend a tear in Damien's shirt. "Shit!" he hissed as he stuck his finger with the needle. "Hi, Jared."

"Hey, Gideon. I have a message for Fox. Is he around?"

"Yeah. He's out by the barn. Is something wrong with Ethan? That why you haven't been around lately?"

Jared dismounted from Dulce. "Ethan's brother was here," he explained as he tied her to the porch rail.

"What do you mean, here? I didn't even know Ethan had a brother."

"He has two," Jared replied gloomily, "plus a sister and a father and God knows how many other relatives. And we have to go to Virginia to visit them." He sat on the step and tossed his hat to one side.

"To Richmond?" Gideon leaned forward, an excited smile on his face, then frowned. "You don't sound too happy about it."

"I'm not," Jared hesitated, then came to the purpose of his visit. "I need some advice. They're rich."

Gideon laughed. "That's a problem?"

"It is for me," he confessed. "I'm not going to fit in. I won't know how to act around them and I don't want to shame Ethan."

"Act?"

"Around rich society people. I don't know how to act around them."

"Neither did I," Gideon whispered to himself, but to Jared he said, "You don't need to act. Just be yourself."

"Be myself?" Jared laughed. "That's the best advice you can give me?"

"It's good advice," Gideon insisted. "They'll either think you're a barbarian and ignore you or they're going to romanticize every aspect of you and forgive any mistakes you make. Either way you'll be fine."

"I will?" Jared sounded doubtful.

"Yeah," his friend told him as he punched the needle through the cloth of the shirt. "And it'll be easier for you to fit in there than it was for me to come here. At least you didn't have a list of things a mile long to learn to survive." He stabbed the shirt again. "Cooking. Mending."

"Branding," Jared added with a smile.

Gideon glanced up, then stuck out his tongue. "Branding," he said as he went back to the shirt.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Giddy," Jared said loyally. "You're doing a lot better now. You're a fast learner."

"I hope so," the young blond replied. "I'm trying. I think I've even started being a help to Damien, now."

"Yeah, you are," Jared assured him. "You've come a long way since the first time we met. Thanks, Gideon." He retrieved his hat and stood up. "I'd better find Fox and give him Ethan's message."

"You're not gonna stay for dinner?"

"Not today." Jared declined the invitation. "I have to get back. We have a lot to do before we leave, and it looks like your dinner is going to be late."

"It is?" Gideon asked in confusion. "Why?"

"It's going to take you awhile to unstitch your pants from that shirt," Jared said with a grin, then walked away whistling.

~~~

Jared emptied the dishpan and hung the damp towel on its hook, then nervously looked around the cabin, making sure that everything was in order. It was neat and tidy, the floor swept, the bed made with fresh linen, the wood boxes full. The big trunk was packed and waiting in the middle of the floor. The carpetbag next to it held everything they would need on the journey. His list of instructions for Kate was neatly printed and lying in the center of the table. It seemed like they were all ready to go. All they were waiting for was Kate and Albert to arrive from town.

He sighed. Richmond seemed so far away, even though Ethan said it would only take a week by train. With the older man's help, he had traced their route in his geography book. They would take the Rio Grande spur from Solitude to the main line. From there they would go to Santa Fe, then take the Atchison line from there to Kansas, where they would change railroads yet again for the trip to St. Louis. Ethan said they would stay over in St. Louis for a day or so, to do some shopping.

He was really looking forward to the trip, but at the same time he didn't want to leave home. He didn't want to go so far away and leave so much behind. What if Kate and Albert didn't like the place? What if they didn't do a good job? What if --

"They're coming!" Ethan called from outside and Jared panicked.

He couldn't do this! He gripped the back of the chair so hard that his knuckles whitened. He couldn't leave their home to strangers. He needed to stay here, to care for the cabin, for the garden and stock, for Dulce and Yip. He finally had everything in life he wanted. He couldn't just walk away from it, not even for a month. Ethan was just going to have to understand.

"Jared?"

He took a deep breath. He had to go. Ethan needed him. "Coming!"

He went out on the porch just as the wagon came to a stop. Albert jumped down and went to the horse's head as Ethan helped Kate step down and introduced them to Jared.

Jared vaguely remembered Kate from his stay at the boarding house; the buxom blonde had been one of the girls waiting table at supper. Albert was a stocky young man not much older than Jared was.

"I'm going to take Albert out to the barn, Jared," Ethan told him after the greetings were over. "Why don't you show Kate around the cabin and garden?"

"This is nice," Kate praised when Jared led her into the cabin. Yip jumped at her skirts and she knelt to rub behind his ears and tell him what a beautiful dog he was. "Thank you so much for inviting us here, Jared," she said as she stood up. We'll do a good job, I promise."

Jared cleared his throat awkwardly. "I-- Uh, I made a list for you. It's here on the table."

By the time he had finished explaining his daily routine, Ethan and Albert were wrestling a small hump-backed trunk into the cabin. In a few minutes, their trunk had taken its place in the wagon and it was time to go.

Jared knelt to hug Yip, who had been following them back and forth anxiously. "Stay here, Yip," he whispered as the puzzled animal licked his cheek. "Be a good dog. I'll be back before you know it."

"Stay, Yip!" he ordered again as he climbed into the wagon and Yip attempted to follow.

He stared straight ahead, trying to swallow the lump in his throat, as Ethan picked up the reins and they drove away.

Ethan glanced at him and then put a comforting hand on his knee. "I know it's hard to leave, little boy. But we'll be home again before you know it."