Chapter 4

Almost dawn. Another hour and he could get up. Get out of bed, Ethan corrected himself with a sigh; he was already 'up'. In the month that he had been here, Jared had developed a pattern. He started the night pressed up against the wall, as far away from Ethan as he could get, but as soon as he was asleep he would gravitate toward Ethan, blindly seeking out the warmth of the bigger man's body. By morning he would be draped comfortably over his bedmate, one arm thrown across the broad chest, one leg drawn up over the muscular thighs.

Ethan carefully eased Jared off him, then felt guilty as the half-waking young man whined fretfully at being pushed onto the cold side of the bed. He relented and Jared once again plastered himself against the enticing source of warmth next to him, sighed contentedly, and settled back into sleep.

Ethan folded one arm beneath his head and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't do this any longer. He couldn't. He wasn't a saint, and Jared didn't seem to know the meaning of the word modesty. He casually dressed and undressed in front of Ethan as if he were alone, and that nightshirt wasn't helping at all; it simply heightened his awareness of what lay beneath it. Worse, by morning it was usually rucked up about the young man's waist, and more than once Ethan had awakened with his hand lovingly cupped around one firm, rounded cheek.

And the bath last night... He groaned at the mere thought of it. Jared had fallen while he was out gathering eggs and returned to the cabin covered in dirt, mud, and broken egg. Since he still couldn't kneel in the tub without gripping the sides for balance, Ethan had been forced to bathe him again. Now, simply the thought of running his hands over that smooth straight back glistening with water droplets, of the satiny feel of those warm alabaster mounds slick with soap, the tantalizing allure of the dark crevice between them, left him hard and aching with need. He turned on his side and Jared promptly followed, snuggling against the body in front of him, his breath warm on Ethan's back.

Damn it! Ethan swore to himself. He was *not* going to take advantage of this boy! Growing up in a brothel might have given him a nonchalant attitude toward nudity and even toward sex with women, but he was an innocent when it came to men, and Ethan was *not* going to take that from him! He pushed back the covers and almost flung himself from the bed, then stopped and turned, shivering in the cold morning air, to tuck the blankets back around the sleepily protesting young man.

"Shh," he murmured, gently stroking the silky dark blond hair, "go back to sleep. It isn't time for you to get up yet."

When he was sure the young man was sleeping soundly again, he quickly dressed and built up the fires in both the fireplace and woodstove, then went out to the barn, taking his time over the chores, brushing and combing Lucifer and tending to the sick mare confined in one of the stalls.

"I've got it bad, haven't I, boy?" he crooned to the big horse as he brushed him. "I swore it would never happen to me, I was never going to act like one of those lovesick fools. But here I am, a grown man, out in the cold, talking to my horse because I'm afraid to go in my own house and face a man half my size."

He laughed ruefully when the big stallion snorted as if in agreement. "Don't sound so smug. I haven't noticed you turning down any of the carrots he's been slipping to you."

He released Lucifer into the pasture, then checked on the mare again. She was still nibbling at the sweet feed he'd put in her bucket earlier, so he left her undisturbed. He'd have to come out later and turn her out where she could reach water and get a little sun and exercise.

He went back to the cabin, sternly lecturing himself about his place in the young man's life. Platonic, he told himself firmly. He could do platonic. He just needed to think of Jared as a beloved younger brother.

His resolve lasted right up until he entered the cabin and found Jared lying on his stomach in the center of the bed. He had grown too warm with both fires burning and had kicked off the covers, and the nightshirt was once again twisted around his waist. At the sight of those pale, taut, firm cheeks, Ethan swallowed hard and, pausing only long enough to write a note telling Jared to take care of the mare, fled.

~~~

He returned several hours later, tired, hungry and extremely irritable, to find the mare still tied in her stall. He turned her loose, then almost ran to the house to see what was wrong, his imagination working overtime, expecting to find Jared hurt, helpless, unable to move... When he found the young man calmly seated at the table laying out yet another game of solitaire, his already exacerbated temper erupted.

"Why didn't you let the mare out?" he asked accusingly.

"What?" Jared looked up at him, confusion apparent in his dark gray eyes.

"Why didn't you let the mare out? Didn't you see my note?" Ethan raged.

Jared's eyes went to the note still lying on the table then back to Ethan and he licked his lips nervously.

"Yes. But-"

"But what? Does your leg hurt? Couldn't you walk that far?" Ethan questioned, looking for a reason for such blatant disobedience.

"No. Yes. I-" Jared stuttered, trying to form a sentence before Ethan interrupted again.

"Then why didn't you do it?" Ethan's wrath grew as he realized there was nothing wrong.

Jared shrugged. "I don't know. I just didn't get around to it."

"You just didn't get around to it?" Ethan repeated incredulously. "Jared, those horses are our livelihood. We *always* 'get around to them'. Not to mention that it was cruel to leave her standing out there with no water all day! What is *wrong* with you?"

"I'm sorry." Jared hung his head in shame. "I'll do it next time."

"Get your pants off." Ethan hung his hat and jacket up and pulled a chair away from the table.

"What? Ethan-" he protested in disbelief.

"Do you have a better reason than 'you didn't get around to it'?"

"No. But-"

"Then get your pants off. NOW, little boy!"

Jared removed his boots, then stood and slid his suspenders over his shoulders. Moving as slowly as he could, he removed his pants, taking the time to fold them, and lay them on the end of the bed. When he could delay no longer, he turned and looked at Ethan pleadingly. He hated this, hated being bare and vulnerable in front of the older man almost more than he hated the spanking itself.

"Over my knee, Jared. Now."

He bit his lip and limped pitifully over to Ethan, dragging his heels, trying desperately to think of an excuse that the older man would accept.

"Ethan, please, listen-" he tried one more time.

"Are you ready to give me a good reason for your disobedience? Something more than 'you didn't get around to it'?"

//Tell him!// screamed the small voice in his mind. //He won't spank you then! Tell him!//

The opposing voice of his pride chimed in. //No! Don't tell him! Let him spank you! It won't be that bad!//

"Don't spank me, Ethan. Please. I'll do it next time. I promise I'll do it next time," Jared begged.

"You're not helping yourself, little boy," his angry mentor warned. "Either give me a better reason, or get over my knee."

Jared swallowed hard and reluctantly bent across Ethan's knees, grasping Ethan's calf. He shuddered, dreading what was going to happen next. Ethan settled him in place, then pulledhis shirt up out of the way and wrapped one arm around his waist.

"Last chance, little boy."

Jared shook his head, tension radiating from the lower curve of his ass to his shoulder blades, but still refusing to answer. Why did Ethan have to drag it out like this? Why couldn't he just get it over with?

The first swat landed hard across both cheeks and Jared jumped and yelped at the impact, automatically reaching back to block the punishing hand.

Ethan paused. "Move your hand, little boy."

"No, Ethan, please..."

"MOVE IT!"

Jared reluctantly returned his hand to its position on Ethan's pant leg, gripping it with all his might as the big rancher began to methodically turn his butt a bright shade of pink.

As the hand unerringly covered each inch of his buttocks and thighs, the youth began to squirm frantically, trying to get away from the punishing hand. "Don't, Ethan, don't. Please, don't!"

His pleas fell on deaf ears, and he howled desperately as a new flurry of swats struck the already blazing flesh.

Finally, Ethan paused in his spanking and asked again, "Why didn't you do it, Jared?"

"I don't know, Ethan. I don't know. I just didn't," Jared wailed, almost choking as he tried to get the words out between desperate sobs. "I'll do it next time! I swear I'll do it next time."

Ethan landed one more hard swat on the lower curve of his butt, then stopped. "Corner," he ordered.

Jared limped to the corner, trying to control his sobs. Standing for any length of time still made his leg ache, and, after a few minutes, he risked a quick look over his shoulder, wondering how long he was going to have to remain in the corner.

"Face the wall. Use your hands if you need to," Ethan ordered unsympathetically.

Jared sighed and faced the wall again, wondering dismally just how he was going to get himself out of this one.

"You can get dressed now," Ethan told him twenty minutes later, his voice still cold.

Jared silently put his pants and boots on and started toward the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" the older man demanded angrily.

"The privy!" Jared flared. "It is all right if I go to the privy, isn't it?"

"If you keep that tone, the only place you'll be going is back over my knee!"

Jared's eyes dropped. "May I please go to the privy?" he asked sullenly.

"You can go, but come straight back. We aren't finished with this discussion yet."

As he waited for the young man to return, Ethan looked around the cabin. Whatever his reason for not taking care of the horse, Jared had obviously been busy while he was gone. The bed had been neatly made, the floor swept and firewood brought in. There was a pot of stew bubbling gently on the stove, spreading its fragrant aroma throughout the room. The cabin had an air of warmth and hominess that had never been there before Jared had arrived.

He ran his hand wearily through his dark hair, wondering what the hell had gotten into the young man. He had his stubborn moments, but never like this, and he was usually eager to get outside and work with the horses. Why the hell had he refused to do it today? He'd seen the note. Not only had Ethan left it on the table in plain sight, but Jared had admitted that he'd seen it. Ethan glanced at the crumpled piece of paper lying on the table, then picked it up for a closer look. The heavily smudged paper looked as though it had been handled repeatedly, even wadded up and thrown away, then carefully smoothed out again. Why on earth would Jared...? His eyes narrowed, a sudden suspicion forming in his mind as he tried to remember if he'd ever seen Jared reading a book.

The young man loved to be read to, but now that he thought about it, Ethan couldn't remember a time that he had read to himself. He liked to handle the books, treating them with a kind of awed reverence, but he never actually read one. He always had an excuse; he was tired, the light was bad, he would rather listen to Ethan...

~~~~

Jared ignored Ethan's order to return to the cabin, going instead to a small grove of trees along the creek. He threw himself to the ground under the largest one and closed his eyes in despair. He *had* seen the note. He had studied it, pored over it, even traced the letters with his finger as if he could absorb their meaning by touch. He could read printing - a little - but Ethan's elegant script was so far beyond his capabilities that it might as well have been written in French. He had tried to figure out what Ethan might be writing to him about. He had cleaned the cabin as best he could, brought in wood, started supper. He had thought maybe it said what time Ethan would be back, but there were no numbers in it. He knew the difference between letters and numbers. He had thought it might say to stay in the cabin, Ethan frequently told him to stay in the cabin while he was gone. He had never even considered that it might tell him to go out to the barn. He had never taken care of the horses while Ethan was gone before.

He ached for the mare that had stood all day without water because of his failing, but even more he ached for himself. Ethan would never trust him now, never tell him what a good job he was doing, never ask him to stay. He put his head on his folded arms and the tears flowed.

Sometime later, he heard the cabin door close and knew Ethan was coming to look for him. Rolling over, he sat up, flinching as his aching bottom touched the hard ground. He leaned his back against the tree and drew his knees up against his chest, wrapping his arms around them. Here it came, his dismissal from the ranch, from the life he was growing to love, from Ethan's life. He felt Ethan sit down next to him, but refused to look at him, desperately forcing back the tears.

"You can't read, can you?" The older man's voice was curiously gentle as he settled himself next to the unhappy young man.

Jared shrugged, keeping his gaze on his knees.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Jared shrugged again, still refusing to look up.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, little boy." Ethan grasped the stubborn chin, forcing Jared to look at him. "There are a lot of good men, important men, who don't know how to read. Not everybody has an opportunity to go to school."

"I wanted to go to school," Jared said softly. "I used to watch the other kids go, and wonder what happened there, but I wasn't welcome. Ma always said she'd teach me, but she had to work. There never seemed to be any free time."

"I'll teach you," Ethan told him. "I can get some schoolbooks when I go to town and it will give us something to do when we're snowed in this winter."

"This winter?" Jared questioned wonderingly. "I'm going to be here all winter?"

It was Ethan's turn to look away. "I thought you might want to stay. If you don't, I'll pay you a month's wages and take you to town when I go. You can probably find some kind of work there."

"You want me to stay? You really want me to stay? Here? With you?" Eyes shining with hope, Jared threw his arms around Ethan's neck, kissing him enthusiastically. As Ethan's hands came up to grasp his arms, Jared realized what he'd done and drew back in shocked dismay.

"Oh," he said forlornly. "I didn't mean to do that. I guess you're not going to want me to stay now, huh?"

Ethan held him away a moment longer, looking into the dark gray eyes, trying to think clearly, to decide if the kid - no, the young man - truly knew what he was doing, trying vainly to remember his vow to keep things platonic.

Oh, the hell with it, he decided rashly. He pulled the young man back against him and ruthlessly kissed the full lips, his own lips parting as an eager young tongue assaulted them.

"Whoa. Wait a minute," he said as they finally broke for air. He stood and tossed the young man effortlessly over one shoulder, wrapping a strong arm around his thighs to steady him.

"Put me down. I don't want to wait. Where are we going?" Jared protested from his upside down position.

"Back to the cabin, where we can do this right. I'm not going to have our first time happen out here in the dirt."

Dropping the young man onto his feet just inside the cabin door, Ethan began unbuttoning his shirt with Jared's eager assistance, undoing his pants and toeing off his boots at the same time. They managed to shed their shirts and Ethan's pants on the way to the bed, but Jared ran into trouble trying to untie his shabby work boots with one hand, hopelessly tangling the laces.

"Wait now, just wait." Ethan soothed the impatient young man as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled one booted foot up into his lap. He worked the knot loose and pulled the boot off, then repeated the procedure with the other foot.

Jared hurriedly shucked his pants and watched avidly as Ethan stood and pushed his longjohns to his ankles, but at the sight of the full thick cock jutting toward him, the young man ran out of patience.

As Ethan sat back down, Jared fell to his knees in front of the older man and took the hard, leaking cock in his hand, gently stroking it from base to head, first with his fingers, then with his mouth, relishing the hot smooth skin against his tongue. As Ethan gasped in ecstasy, he devoured it whole, then slid it out inch by inch, cupping the heavy balls and caressing them with his thumbs at the same time.

Ethan groaned. It had been so long, and it felt so good; it didn't take long for that warm, wet, succulent mouth to send him over the edge, and soon he was bucking against Jared's mouth, coming in strong bursts that the eager young man swallowed blissfully, milking every last drop. Breathing hard, Ethan looked at the young man sitting back on his heels, a fatuous grin on his face, and had a vague feeling that something wasn't right.

"What about you... you need to..." he tried vainly to formulate a complete sentence.

"Um..." Jared flushed as he looked down at the floor in front of him. "I already did."

~~~

Ethan lay in bed in the same position he had that morning, but in a much better mood. Who would have believed that he could be so happy? In the past month, he had gone from an empty, sterile existence to a life filled with joy and companionship - all because of one stubborn, impetuous, passionate young man.

"Ethan?" Jared whispered, raising up on one elbow to look at him. "Ethan, are you asleep?"

"What?" he asked drowsily, pulling the young man closer to him.

"I have something I need to tell you," Jared whispered anxiously.

Ethan groaned mentally at his sense of timing. He wanted to lay here and enjoy the role of sated lover, not become the stern disciplinarian.

"What?" he repeated reluctantly.

"I didn't need you to help me with my bath last night. I can kneel just fine."

Ethan felt a familiar, but now welcome, tightening in his groin as he remembered the lithe young body kneeling in front of him earlier.

"You still need me to help you," he said firmly.

"No, I don't," the young man insisted. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. I was just pretending."

"Yes, you do," Ethan corrected him. "Otherwise you might miss a few spots. Like here." He laved a small sensitive nipple, chuckling lovingly as Jared writhed in delight. "Or here." His tongue moved down to dip into the young man's navel.

"Ooh, that tickles, Ethan," Jared protested breathlessly, even as he shifted closer to that maddening sensation.

"Or here." The agile tongue moved lower still.

"Ohhhh. Yes..." Jared agreed, arching upward.

Sometime later, Ethan lay in bed in the same position that he had that morning, but in a much better mood. Who knew that life could be this good? He could lie here and bask in the warm glow the rest of the night.

"Ethan?" Jared whispered, raising up on one elbow to look at him. "Are you asleep?"

Ethan sighed. "What, Jared?"

"I've been thinking."

"Uh-oh."

Ethan! I'm serious."

"Sorry. What have you been thinking about?"

"I don't think you should spank me anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a man, not a kid, and men don't spank men," Jared replied reasonably.

"Why not?"

"Because!" Jared repeated irritably. "They just don't!" This was *not* going according to plan. According to his plan, Ethan was supposed to listen and agree, not say uh-oh and ask why not!

Ethan pulled Jared up and over to sit astride him, so he could look into the young man's face while they talked. "I know you're a man, not a kid," he explained seriously. "But you've still got a lot to learn. And I see it as part of my job to help you learn it, to be the finest man you can possibly be. And if I have to spank you to do that, then I'll spank you, whether you're 17 or 70. Got that?"

Jared took his time considering it. His mind boggled over the image of a 70-year-old Jared turned over the knee of an 80-year-old Ethan, but on the other hand... the idea of a 70-year-old Jared still living with an 80-year-old Ethan was strangely comforting. "Got it," he agreed at last, sliding back down into his normal position against the older man's chest.

"So, is there anything else, or can I go to sleep now?"

"You can go to sleep now," Jared replied magnanimously.

"Good." Ethan blew out the lamp and tried to get back to the warm glow he'd had earlier. Or at least to sleep.

"Ethan?"

"*Now* what?"

"Are you going to be this cranky when you're 80?"