Chapter 13

"Ethan?" Jared asked hoarsely, squinting in the dim lamplight, trying to bring the beloved face into focus. "Am I home?"

"Yes, Jared, you're home," Ethan softly reassured him, just as he had each time Jared had awakened and asked the same question. He looked so slight and helpless, his skin pale against the brightly colored quilt. His upper torso and shoulders were covered in bandages, his arm bandaged against his chest to hold the collarbone in place, and he was propped carefully against the pillows and blankets that kept his knee elevated and the weight off of his injuries.

"I'm hot. And thirsty," he whispered fretfully, twisting awkwardly in an effort to find a cool spot on the sheet, then gasping at the fiery pain caused by the movement.

"Shh. I know, little boy. It's because you have a fever." Ethan slid a hand behind his back and lifted him, holding a cup of water to his lips while the young man drank eagerly. When he had finished the older man eased him back into position against the pillows, then brushed the sweat-dampened hair away from his forehead and replaced it with a cloth wrung out in cool water.

Jared sighed, turning his head to rest his cheek against the broad hand. It was so good to be home.

Ethan gently stroked the flushed cheek, then pulled his hand away and attempted to stand.

"No!" Jared cried in sudden panic, clutching at the hand, then crying out again at the pain. "Don't leave me, Ethan! Please don't leave me!"

"Shh. Easy, little boy," Ethan replied soothingly. "I'm only going over to the stove to get some willow tea for you."

"Promise," Jared begged shamelessly.

"I promise," Ethan gently assured him, using his other hand to stroke the young man's hair. "I'm just going to stir up the fire and get some more tea." Moving slowly and easily, as if he was dealing with a skittish young colt, he stood up and moved over to the stove, continuing to speak reassuringly as he left Jared's sight. "The tea will help bring your fever down and I'll give you a little more laudanum to help the pain. I don't figure the doctor will be here much before noon tomorrow, and I don't want you moving around too much before then."

"What time is it now?"

"Almost 9:00," the older man told him, looking at the clock on his way over to the bed. "Drink this now." He held the cup firmly to the young man's lips as Jared shuddered at the bitter taste and tried to turn away. "No, don't turn your head. You need to drink all of it." Between coaxing and gentle bullying, he managed to get most of the tea and another dose of laudanum into Jared, then bathed him with a cool cloth until the young man fell into a fitful doze.

Only 10:00, he thought, glancing at the clock again. Almost 10 hours before Fox returned, and at least 12 before the doctor arrived, probably longer. He was bone-tired, but he knew that sleep was out of the question. Jared was growing increasingly restless, dropping into an uneasy sleep and then jerking awake again. He'd need a firm hand to keep him from tossing and turning and doing more damage to his injuries. It was going to be a long night, Ethan thought grimly as he added more wood to the fire and made a strong pot of coffee. A very long night.

He was drowsing in the rocker he'd pulled over next to the bed when he heard the horses nickering in the pasture. Immediately alert, he tossed aside the quilt that covered his lap, wondering who could be arriving at this time of night. He was starting toward the door, when Jared stirred, moaning softly in his sleep. Glancing over to make sure the door was securely barred, Ethan took the time to go back to the bed, petting and soothing his partner until he settled down. Then, after pulling the quilt a little higher to protect the young man against the chill, Ethan took his rifle from the rack and cautiously looked out the window, careful not to make a target of himself as he did so. He was surprised to see a horse and buggy standing near the porch. Was the doctor here already? He hurried to open the door.

"Estelle!" He threw the door open wider in amazement, staring at the woman on the porch.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard what happened and came to help out." Estelle brushed past him into the cabin and set a large carpetbag on the table.

"But-" Ethan closed the door behind her and turned, uncertain what to say. He almost didn't recognize the flamboyant madam from Solitude. Her usual brightly-colored, low-cut satin dress had been replaced by a dark, sober work dress, her striking red hair pulled back into a businesslike bun. She must have left as soon as she'd heard and made the long trip all alone in the dark. "I'm grateful, Estelle, but..." his voice trailed off. "What about your...uh...business. I'm sure you have customers that need to be taken care of." He winced at the inadvertent choice of words even as he continued, "And we live rough. I don't even have a place for you to sleep."

"Claire is taking care of the house," she replied briskly as she opened her carpetbag. "She wants to set up for herself and this will give her a chance to see that it isn't as easy as it looks. I brought a couple of blankets and I can make a pallet on the floor. It won't be the first time." She pulled a long white cotton apron out of the bag and tied it on, completely covering the front of her gown. Her voice softened sympathetically as she turned to him. "I won't interfere with your care of him, Ethan, but you need help. You can't do it all by yourself and I'm the closest thing to a relative that he has."

His reply was interrupted by a panicky cry from the bed. "Ethan? Where are you??"

"It's all right, Jared. I'm right here," he said, going to sit on the edge of the bed and taking the young man's free hand in his.

"I didn't know where you went," he whispered huskily.

"I'm right here," Ethan repeated soothingly. "And there's someone here to see you."

"Who?"

"It's me, sweetie," Estelle told him softly, coming to stand by Ethan. "I came to help out for a few days, until you're feeling better."

He managed a small smile for her, then turned his attention back to Ethan. "I'm thirsty," he whispered, licking painfully dry lips.

Estelle filled a cup with water and brought it to Ethan, then went back and rummaged through her bag while he helped Jared drink it. Returning, she handed him a small jar of colorless ointment. "Lip balm," she explained. "Merry had some made up and not colored yet. She didn't think he'd care for crimson." She smiled at Jared and he smiled tentatively back, then closed his eyes wearily as Ethan applied it.

"I'll go put your horse in the barn," Ethan said quietly once Jared was asleep again. "He shouldn't wake up again for a little while, but if he does try to get a little more tea in him."

"I will. There's a box of supplies in the buggy. Could you bring it in before you take the buggy to the barn?"

"What all did you bring?" Ethan asked as he carried the heavy wooden crate into the cabin. "It feels like lead."

"Mr. Carson put some things together," she explained as she began taking out paper-wrapped packages. "There's chicken and beef for broth, apple cider, some canned goods, bandages, more laudanum, and a few other things. Then I stopped at Granny Jacobs' on my way out of town and got some fresh herbs for poultices. I wasn't sure what you'd have on hand."

"Thank you. I don't have much and it's all dried." He left her putting the chicken on to cook and went out to put up her horse and buggy.

When he came back in she had scrambled eggs waiting for him. "Why don't you eat and then lay down next to Jared awhile? I'm used to being up late and you must be exhausted."

Ethan started to object, then gave in, eating the eggs and then stripping down to long underwear and sliding into bed between Jared and the wall. It felt strange to be on this side of the bed - oddly disquieting somehow - but Estelle needed to be able to take care of Jared if he awoke.

He didn't expect to do more than nap, but exhaustion took over and he slept, waking slightly when Jared stirred or moaned, touching him, reassuring him while Estelle took care of him, then dropping back into a deeper sleep. The last time he awoke it was close to morning, the fire had died to coals, and Estelle was asleep in the chair, a quilt wrapped tightly around her. Moving carefully to keep from waking her or Jared, he silently slipped from the bed and dressed, built up the fires, then pulled on his boots.

"Ethan?" Her soft whisper reached him as he was putting on his coat and she rose and tiptoed quietly over to him. "Is anything wrong?"

"No." He ran his hand through his hair and reached for his hat. "I'm just going out to check on things. I'll be back in a few minutes. Bar the door behind me and I'll knock when I come back."

"Do you think there's still any danger?" she asked.

"No, not really," he admitted. "But we know that there was still some of the gang loose this afternoon and I don't want to take any chances." He took his rifle from the rack and stepped outside, waiting until he heard the thud of the bar dropping into its brackets before he went on to do a short patrol around the cabin and barn.

He walked around the yard, checking the shadows, but saw nothing but a fox investigating the hen house. "Stay away from Jared's chickens, Fox, or he'll have your pelt on the wall," Ethan warned it, then chuckled as it trotted away, seeming to take his message to heart. Since everything was quiet he took a few minutes in the barn to check on Dulce. She rolled one liquid brown eye inquiringly at him as he lit a lantern and hung it on a nail before entering her stall.

"How are you doing, girl?" he asked as he ran his hand over her chest and legs. She seemed to be sound, in spite of the rough treatment and carrying double weight for such a distance. He poured another measure of grain into her feed bucket and checked her water, then turned at the whicker from the next stall. "Oh, you think you need some too, huh?" he laughed. "I guess a little more won't hurt you. You had a long day, too." He poured a little bit into Lucifer's feed bucket, standing and stroking the big horse's neck as he ate, then blew out the lantern, picked up the rifle, and returned to the cabin.

He knocked quietly on the door and Estelle quickly opened it.

"He's awake," she reported. "He drank a little broth but he's pretty unhappy and he wants you."

"I'm here, Jared," he called as he entered the cabin and took off his hat and coat. "I'll be there in just a minute." He paused long enough to warm his hands by the fire so he wouldn't chill the young man, then went to sit on the bed, taking his hand and assessing his condition. His color was a little better, but his forehead, when Ethan brushed the tangled blond hair back, was still hot and his eyes were bright with fever. "Can you drink a little more broth for me?"

Jared shook his head. "I don't want it," he whispered. "It's too hot. I'm hot. And I hurt."

"I know you do, little boy," the older man told him sympathetically. "Mr. Carson sent you some apple cider. How about that instead?" He picked the young man up and sat in their chair by the fire, signaling for Estelle to place a quilt over them, then bring over a cup of cider. "Why don't you stretch out on the bed and get a nap?" he suggested to her. "I think we'll sit here for a while."

"I think I will close my eyes for a few minutes," Estelle agreed. "It's been a long day."

The sun was up and Jared was asleep in his arms when there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Estelle said, opening her eyes and getting up before he could shift the sleeping young man. "It's probably Dash." She went to the door, smoothing her dress and hair as she went.

"Check before you open it," he warned her.

"Who is it?" she called, then turned in puzzlement at the muffled reply. "Fox?" she asked.

"Let him in," Ethan told her with a nod. "He's our neighbor, the one that tracked the outlaws."

She unbarred and opened the door and Fox came in, Gideon following close enough to step on his heels. "Came to do chores," he said briefly. "How's Jared?"

"He's doing a little better, I think. Doc Baker should be here in a few hours and we'll know more then. Estelle, this is Damien Silver Fox and his partner Gideon. This is Estelle, a friend of Jared's mother, come to help out for a few days."

"Pleasure, ma'am." Fox tipped his hat. "I'll do the chores now, Ethan." Gideon started to follow him to the door, but Fox waved him back. "Stay in by the fire, Little Rain."

The smaller man halted mid-stride, a look of total confusion on his face. “What?”

“Stay here.”

“But, Damien,” he whined. “I don’t want to stay here! I want to be with you.”

“No.”

Gideon spared a swift glance at their audience. “We’ll finish quicker if I help you.”

“No.”

Gideon frowned, his lip creeping out in a pout. “But, Damien-”

Silver Fox said a quick few words in his native tongue and Gideon hung his head, nodding sadly before removing his coat and going to sit by the fire.

"Gideon?" Jared asked groggily, awakened by the new voices. "What's wrong?"

"Jared, you're awake. How are you feeling?" he asked, dropping to his knees by the chair.

"Not so good." He took a deep breath, then continued. "I'm sorry, Gideon. I'm so sorry I got you into that mess."

"It wasn't your fault," Gideon assured him. "It just happened. And you got us out again."

"But-"

"Why don't I move you back to the bed and then you can talk to him while you try to drink a little broth?" Ethan suggested.

Jared made a face, but didn't protest as he was shifted.

"Would you like something to eat, Gideon?" Estelle asked as she brought a mug of chicken broth over to Jared.

No, thank you, ma'am. We ate before we left home." He paced restlessly as Ethan helped Jared sip from the mug. "Shouldn't he be back by now?" he asked Ethan worriedly.

"It's only been about ten minutes," Ethan replied. "Why don't you have something to eat while you wait?"

"No, that's all right." He continued pacing.

"Gideon," Ethan said, after another ten minutes. "Would you please sit down? All that going in circles is making me dizzy. He's fine."

Gideon halted mid-step. "Oh. Sorry," he apologized softly. Instead of sitting however, he went and stood disconsolately by the window, looking out toward the barn. "Here he comes," he said at last, heaving a great sigh of relief, then scooted away from the window.

By the time Fox came back in with an armload, he was sitting innocently in the rocker, trying to make conversation with Jared.

"Ready to go, Little Rain?" Fox asked.

"If you are," he said, trying for a nonchalant tone as he got his coat. "Bye, Jared."

Fox looked knowingly over his head at Ethan, but didn't comment.

"Thanks, Fox," Ethan told him. "I appreciate the help."

"We'll be back this evening. Bye, Jared. Bye, ma'am." He went out the door, Gideon once again stepping on his heels in the effort to stay close to him.

"Ethan?" Jared said as the door closed behind them. "I need to-- I have to--" he flushed as he looked at Estelle and then back at Ethan pleadingly.

Estelle was the first to realize what he needed. "I'll just go feed the chickens and see if there are any eggs," she said tactfully.

Ethan was pushing the chamber pot back under the bed when he heard the rhythmic beat of hooves coming up the road. Jared heard them as well, and tensed. "Ethan?"

"It's all right, little boy," Ethan assured him, going to look out the window. "It's just Dash." He watched as Dash trotted into the yard and dismounted. Estelle came from the hen house to greet him enthusiastically and Ethan discreetly turned away.

"Dash is here," she announced unnecessarily as they came in the door, "and he brought something for Jared."

"Thank you," Ethan told him. "I'm sure Jared will appreciate it."

"What is it?" Jared asked curiously, unable to see it from the bed.

"It's your rifle," the sheriff told him, going over to the bed and showing it to him. "I found it at the outlaw camp and thought you might like to have it back."

"Thank you," Jared echoed softly. "I didn't think I'd ever see it again."

"Have you had breakfast yet?" Ethan asked as he took the rifle and put it carefully in the rack next to his.

"I had cold biscuits and coffee before dawn," Dash said with a grimace. "We wanted to get on the trail and get the prisoners back to town. I left the rest of the posse at the fork and came by to check on Jared and make sure you got home okay."

"I was just getting eggs for breakfast," Estelle told him. "Now where did I set them down?" She looked around the cabin as if expecting them to materialize.

"You left the basket outside," Ethan told her with a smile, "where you said hello to Dash."

"Oh. So I did," she said matter-of-factly. "Pour yourself some coffee while I go get them."

Over a breakfast of ham and eggs, Dash told them of how the posse had surprised and captured the rest of the outlaws.

"So there they were," he concluded, "arguing at the top of their lungs about whether Barstow had been caught or abandoned them and whether they should take off or hunker down where they were. A herd of buffalo could have stampeded by and they wouldn't have noticed.We didn't want to ride back in the dark, so we spent the night and started out at daybreak. There's reward money coming on at least half the gang. I'm going to push for Gideon and Jared to get a share of that."

"The girls' parents offered a reward," Estelle said, "and that should go to Jared and Gideon, too."

"But I didn't do anything to deserve it," Jared, who had been listening, protested weakly. "All I did was get shot. They would have escaped a lot faster without me."

"They wouldn't have escaped at all without you," Dash corrected. "And I don't think we would have found the gang at all if you hadn't lured them back to us."

The sound of a buggy outside interrupted the conversation and sent Ethan to the door. "The doctor's here," he announced, watching a tall man of about forty climb down from the buggy and reach for his medical bag.

"Hello, Ethan. I heard you have a patient for me," the doctor said as he entered the cabin.

Doc Baker was a rangy, raw-boned man, big enough to hold down a struggling patient, but with surprisingly deft and gentle hands. Always impeccably dressed in a three-piece black suit and white shirt, he projected a calm, reassuring manner that convinced even the worst of patients that he was in capable hands, and that good health was just around the corner.

"Hi, Doc. See you still haven't had time to get your hair cut," Ethan grinned as he took the doctor's coat and hat.

"If it gets much longer you'll be able to braid it," Dash added with a laugh.

The doctor pushed his unruly blond hair back from his face. "Damned barber keeps banker's hours," he growled good-naturedly. "Hello, Jared. Looks like you got yourself in a bit of trouble." He sat on the edge of the bed and took the young man's wrist, checking the pulse as he spoke.

"Just a little," Jared replied with an unwilling smile at the understatement. "I got shot."

"The bullet went in high on his shoulder, broke the collarbone and was deflected down," Ethan contributed. "I can feel it just under the skin behind his armpit, but I didn't want to try to get it out."

"Good idea," the doctor commended him. "Remove one bullet and you'll have half the town beating down your door. Won't even have time for a haircut." He was rewarded with another small smile from Jared as he brushed the young man's hair back, casually feeling his forehead at the same time. "Pulse is a little rapid and he's feverish, but that's normal under the circumstances," he said. "Let's take a look and see what I can do to make it better, shall we?"

"Ethan?" Jared asked, trembling.

"I'm here, Jared," he said, sitting down next to the young man and holding his hand comfortingly.

Doc Baker unwrapped the bandages crisscrossing Jared's chest and shoulders, his nimble fingers gently exploring and probing the wounded areas. "I'm sorry, Jared, I know this is hurting you, but it has to be done," he apologized as the young man gasped in pain.

"He's definitely broken his collarbone," he said at last. "It looks like you cleaned the entry wound, but there's still dirt and debris in it. I'll need to clean it again and drain it. But first, I thing we'd better get that bullet out."

Jared tensed. "Ethan?" he asked pleadingly, already knowing the answer, but terrified at the prospect.

"It has to come out, little boy," Ethan confirmed, hugging him tightly as he began to shake.

Doc Baker patted the young man's hand. "It's all right, Jared. I've removed dozens of bullets and this one is going to be fairly simple. Do you have any whiskey, Ethan?"

"Yes, but I've been giving him laudanum for the pain," Ethan offered. "And we have some poultices from Granny Jacobs to put on it afterwards."

"Even better," the doctor approved. "Why don't you give him another dose while I lay out my equipment? Estelle, if you could ready the poultices and provide clean bandages, I'd be grateful."

"What about me?" Dash asked as the others did his bidding. "How can I help?"

"I'm going to need you and Ethan to hold him down," the doctor said matter-of-factly. He stood and took his coat and vest off, hanging them neatly on a chair back before rolling up his shirt sleeves.

All too soon, Jared found himself lying on the edge of the bed, half across Ethan's lap, as Dash stood over him and Doc Baker crouched in front of him.

"All right, lift him just a little more," the doctor directed, keeping up a running commentary as he worked. "I want him up against you, Ethan, and lying midway between his side and stomach. Good. Now, Dash, raise his arm over his head. Slowly... there. I think that's as far as we can go without pulling the collarbone out of position. Hold it right there, please, Dash. Ethan, one arm around his waist, please, and the other one holding his head. Dash, if you could keep his legs from moving as well, I'd appreciate it."

"Ethan?" Jared asked desperately. "Please, Ethan, don't let him cut me. Please!"

"Easy, little boy, easy," Ethan said softly, wrapping his arm more firmly around the shaking young man. "It's all right. I'm here. I've got you." He kept up a soothing litany as the doctor eased a piece of leather into Jared's mouth and picked up his scalpel.

"Ready with the cloth, Estelle?" he asked. At her nod, he placed his fingers in a V around the bullet to keep it from shifting and cut into the skin over it.

Jared jerked and screamed, in spite the leather clenched tightly between his teeth. Ethan tightened his grip, keeping up the flow of comforting words, "Easy, little boy. I've got you. Easy now."

Estelle wiped away as much blood as she could while the doctor swiftly exchanged scalpel for forceps and probed deep into the incision he'd made. "Ahh," he said with satisfaction, lifting the bullet out and dropping it into the pan Estelle held for him. "Almost done, Jared."

He probed the wound again, searching for bits of dirt and cloth that might have been pushed ahead of the bullet, and Jared cried out in agony as he doused the incision liberally with whiskey and then took a few quick stitches to hold it closed. "There we go. Let's get it bandaged up, shall we?"

Estelle held out the basin of herbs steeping in hot water and he laid them across the incision and bandaged them in place. "All done," he said reassuringly as he got to his feet.

"I'm going to throw up," Jared informed them weakly as soon as the leather strip cleared his mouth. He was so cold; shivering, yet drenched in sweat at the same time.

Ethan quickly turned him toward the basin that Estelle held, then afterwards helped him sit up, wrapping a quilt around him and cradling him against his chest.

"Let's give you a few minutes before I clean the entry wound," the doctor told him gently.

He and the others discreetly retired to the table, giving Jared some privacy to recover, and he buried his face in Ethan's shoulder, the tears flowing.

"I'm sorry," he eventually muttered into Ethan's shirt. "I didn't mean to be such a baby."

"You weren't a baby at all," Ethan assured him. "You were very brave and I'm proud of you. I've seen men twice your size put up a bigger fight for a lot less cause."

"Really?" Jared asked, looking up through tear-filled eyes.

"Yes, really. I'm proud of you," Ethan repeated, stroking his hair.

Jared sighed and rested his head against the comforting shoulder once more.

All too soon, the doc was ready to clean the open wound on his shoulder, and it was almost as painful as removing the bullet. This time he was sitting upright between Ethan's legs, his back against the older man's chest, but once more, he found himself clenching his teeth around the leather and struggling not to jerk away before the doctor was finished.

"Easy, little boy." Ethan's arms tightened around him and the comforting voice murmured softly into his ear. "Close your eyes now, and breathe. Deep breaths, that's it. That's my boy."

"All right, that's done," Doc Baker said at last. "Let's get it bandaged up." He checked the alignment of the collarbone once more and then rebandaged Jared's left hand to his right shoulder. "Now for the knee."

"Please, no more," Jared begged. "I don't want you to do any more."

"I just want to look at it, Jared," he assured the trembling young man. "I'm not going to hurt it, I promise."

"There isn't much I can do here," he told Ethan after a cursory examination. "It looks like you know how to tend it as well or better than I do."

"I'm just handling it the way I would one of the horses," Ethan replied with a frustrated sigh. "It seems like there ought to be more than that."

"Seems like it," the doctor replied sympathetically. "But that's about all you can do."

"I have coffee for you, Doc," Estelle offered, "and a bite to eat if you want it."

"That sounds good, thank you," he replied.

"I'll be there in a minute," Ethan told them. "I'm going to help Jared get settled first."

"Did the rest of the posse get back to town all right?" Dash asked as they sat down at the table and Estelle poured them coffee and began filling bowls with hot stew.

"They did," the doctor replied. "I was a little busy there for a while, between tending the wounded men and dealing with Agnes' hysterics."

"That girl needs a good slap," Estelle said darkly.

"I think Rose slapped her," Jared told Ethan huskily. "I think I remember that."

"She probably deserved it," Ethan replied absently, his attention focused more on his lover than the conversation. "Are you still cold?" Jared nodded and he pulled the quilts up a little higher. "Try to get some sleep now, all right?"

"You aren't leaving me?" Jared asked frantically, clutching at the older man's arm.

"I'm not going anywhere," Ethan assured him, stroking his cheek gently. "I'll be right here if you need me."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He waited until the young man was asleep, then joined the others.

"I need to get going," the doctor said, pulling out his pocket watch and taking a look at it. "I'll be back in a couple of days to check on things, Ethan."

"I'll walk you out," he replied. "Estelle-"

"I'll keep an eye on him and call you if he wakes up," she assured him.

"Tell me the truth, Doc," Ethan said as they walked out to the buggy. "How bad off is he?"

"The collarbone should heal fine, with no impairment of the shoulder. I don't know about the knee; it may heal fine or he may have a slight limp. As far as the bullet wounds-- I've done all I can," the doctor told him soberly. "If he can fight off the infection he'll be fine. Whether he can do that or not, I can't tell you; I just don't know. I do know that you have a rough couple of days ahead of you."

"I see," Ethan replied somberly. "Thank you for coming, Doc. I appreciate all you've done." He dug into his pocket and handed the doctor his fee. "I'd better get back inside before he misses me."

"Ethan," the doctor called as he walked away.

Ethan turned and looked back questioningly.

"He's a strong young man. He has a good chance."

"Thanks, Doc. I hope that's enough."

~~~~~~~

"How's he doing?" Estelle asked softly, coming to stand by the bed.

"His fever is still too high," Ethan replied, cupping his hand against Jared's cheek.

"I'll make some more tea. Why don't you lay down, Ethan? I don't think you've done more than catnap in two days."

"No, that's all right. I wouldn't sleep anyway. I need to be here with him."

Estelle went to make the tea without trying to persuade him any further. In the day and a half since Dash and the doctor had gone back to town, Jared's condition had worsened dramatically. They had to change the bandages frequently as a thick yellowish fluid soaked through them, often tinged with blood. He wasn't conscious of his surroundings for more than a few minutes at a time, while his fever remained alarmingly high and it was almost impossible to get him to drink the tea that would bring it down. He slept restlessly, tossing and turning, crying out repeatedly as he relived being shot and held hostage over and over again. As the nightmares worsened, Ethan didn't even attempt to sleep, simply holding Jared and using both his strength and his voice to calm the wildly struggling young man.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep?" Ethan suggested to Estelle when she came back. "I'm going to sit in the chair with him again. That seems to be where he's most comfortable."

Jared did seem to settle down once he was on Ethan's lap, and Ethan gently stroked his hair. It wasn't fair, he thought bitterly. Jared was tough, but he'd been through so much already. How much more could he take? And how could Ethan stand it if he lost the young man who had become so dear to him? He closed his eyes, too tired and worried to think anymore. He woke suddenly an hour or so later, aware that something had changed, but not sure what. Holding his breath, he looked down at the cherished young man in his arms, almost afraid of what he would see.

Dark gray eyes gazed back at him, looking up through their lashes as if even staying open was too much effort. "You look like hell," the young man murmured. His free hand crept out from under the quilt and brushed Ethan's cheek. "And you need a shave."

~~~~

"There's still some infection, but he's turned the corner," Doc Baker said when he returned the next day. He replaced the dressings and rebandaged the shoulder. "I think you're going to be fine, young man." He patted Jared on his good shoulder and then turned to Ethan. "Keep using the poultices and change the bandages every day. Plenty of rest, whatever he wants to eat, and all that he can drink. Don't let him use that arm until the bones have knit, and keep him off the leg."

"Thanks, Doc,

"Have you seen Dash lately?" Estelle asked as began packing his bag.

"I saw him this morning, as a matter of fact," he replied. "He said that he'll be coming out tomorrow."

"I think I'll go home with him," she decided as she brought them coffee by the fire. "There won't be much for me to do here and I need to get back to my girls and finish decorating the house for Christmas."

"What day is it? When's Christmas?" Jared asked curiously.

"It's the 18th," Ethan replied. "Christmas is a week away."

"Oh." Jared took little part in the rest of the conversation, lying back on his pillows, deep in thought.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Doc?" he asked shyly as the doctor prepared to leave.

"Certainly, Jared," the man replied. "What do you need?"

"Uh-- Could we talk alone?" he asked the other two self-consciously.

"Sure," Ethan said in surprise, wondering what Jared needed to say that was so private.

"What do you need?" the doctor asked again after they had left.

Jared fidgeted with the quilt, unsure how to begin. "Dash said there would be some reward money coming and I'd get part of it," he said at last. "Do you think Mr. Carson would give me some store credit against it?"

"I'm sure he would," the doctor replied, privately thinking that Carson was likely to give Jared the store if he asked for it. Nothing was too good for someone who had helped return his Beth Ann to him. "What do you want to buy?"

"I didn't realize Christmas was so close and I don't have anything for Ethan. I was wondering if you could make the arrangement with Mr. Carson for me and have Dash bring it out when he comes tomorrow. Please?"

"I'd be happy to," the doctor replied. "What do you want to get him?"

"Well, first--"

~~~~~

Jared sighed deeply as Ethan settled into the bed next to him and picked up a book. Estelle and Dash had left earlier in the day and the cabin seemed both larger and emptier since they'd gone.

"Why the heavy sigh?" Ethan asked as he opened to the chapter where they'd left off so many days before.

"I don't know," Jared replied. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"I liked seeing Estelle again. I'm glad she came. And I'm glad that Fox and Gideon have been coming to help with chores and that Dash stopped by again today and that the doc came out to take care of me. But I like it even more when they're all gone and it's just the two of us. And for a while I didn't think I'd ever see this place again, and I'm so happy to be home. Does that sound stupid?"

"No, little boy," Ethan replied, laying the book down to give Jared a gentle hug and kiss. "It doesn't sound stupid at all."